Time's Our Enemy
by unnoticedkohai
Summary: Prussia and Canada meet at a World Meeting but unexpectedly get along. With Prussia's conflict, however, it complicates things and makes it unsure whether or not they will be able to confess before time is out. Even if they do, who's to say they'll be able to spend time together when time itself is against them?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! This is a PruCan fanfiction, which will be exactly 20 chapters (a challenge from a friend). There are some other side, _minor_ pairings hinted towards. I hope you enjoy! I refer to countries here by their human names, by the way. **

**If you see any grammatical errors, feel free to advise me.** **Also, if you have any ideas at all or want something to be included in the story, please let me know!**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

"I'm the hero, so you should all just agree with me on the fact that we should just declare war on-" Alfred was interrupted by various other countries at once, Arthur telling him violence isn't always the answer, Ivan suggesting just killing whatever or whoever was bothering anyone, etc.

"Obviously everyone'll just cower in fear before the awesome me!" Gilbert yelled, laughing arrogantly.

Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, "I don't think you realize how horribly obnoxious you are all being." Everything was a mess – most of everyone was expressing their feelings on the subject obnoxiously.

"How about we all just get past –" Feliciano was interrupted when he was hit on the side of his head by a hysterical country, who immediately cowered away at Ludwig's glare.

"Feliciano, are you alright?" Ludwig asked his close friend.

Gilbert stiffened for a moment, just watching the two and their closeness. He always teased Ludwig on how overprotective he was for Feliciano, and almost always Ludwig would blush and curse at him. In reality, however, he was _jealous_ ; jealous and envious that his younger brother had someone to care so much for, someone who would stay at his side to his dying breath.

It was true that he was acquainted with Antonio and Francis, yes, and used to be extremely close with Elizabeta, who sat beside Roderich blushing. However, that didn't change the fact that Antonio and Francis were just acquaintances, and would declare war on each other nevertheless. It also didn't change the fact that Elizabeta was taken from right under his nose by Roderich.

He suddenly felt anger overcome him; how could she just let him take over her like that? _She's an idiot. I don't need her._ He thought to himself, tearing his eyes away from his old friend. He was so lost in thought that the sight of countries arguing, chairs thrown about recklessly, and the inability to make out what anyone was saying didn't faze him or catch his attention. Gilbert heard the door open slightly, and a panting and sweating Matthew appeared at the door, huffing and puffing. He was certainly a couple of half hours late, but no one really noticed. Gilbert had realized there was someone missing, but he didn't bother to bring it up because then it'd make him seem too organized or something.

All of the chairs were thrown about everywhere, and Matthew looked conflicted on where he should sit, hugging his polar bear tighter than usual. No one was paying attention, so Gilbert decided he would help the frail-looking Canadian country and grabbed a chair for him, placing it a few inches from his chair. He caught eye contact, and gestured to the chair next to him. Antonio was originally sitting to his left, but at the moment he was off trying to break off Lovino from biting someone's head off. And Ludwig was to his right, conflicted and struggling to keep everyone in check.

Matthew was shocked at the kind action; _Why is he...?_ He thought. He quietly walked over to the chair, sitting in it awkwardly and muttering a "Thank you" to Gilbert.

He looked up at him and felt the need to say, "No, I'm not America…"

Gilbert's grin faltered, and he replied a bit angrily with, "I wouldn't get a chair for that loser," He said, glancing at Alfred who was obnoxiously slurping his drink and arguing with Arthur.

Then he realized he had just called Matthew's brother a loser, and that certainly wasn't a good way to start a friendship; but Matthew laughed at hearing his brother called a loser, muttering something about how he should be the one called a loser but brushed it off when Gilbert asked about what he had said. Gilbert realized just how much Matthew looked like Alfred, sighing and noting how much the poor country must have been harassed.

"Why aren't you… um…" Matthew trailed off, realizing how awkward his question was.

Gilbert quirked an eyebrow, asking, "Why isn't the awesome me what?"

Mathew shook his head, "Nevermind."

Gilbert furrowed his brow, "Is someone daring to defy the awesome Prussia?" He said playfully, only teasing the boy.

However, Matthew visibly stiffened, and quickly stammered, "N-No…" Gilbert laughed and repeatedly patted his back, causing him to tense, to his dismay.

"I was kidding," Gilbert said. He then asked, "Are you wondering why I'm not being obnoxious like everyone else?" He drank some of the beer he brought while awaiting Matthew's answer. When he didn't answer, he continued, "Why, do you want me to be? Does it make me more awesome?" Gilbert asked, continuing to tease him. Matthew didn't really know what to say, and all he wanted to do was just go home already.

' _Why is he talking to me?'_ He thought gloomily. Talking to him would only bring attention towards him, and he certainly didn't want anyone to actually notice him. No, that was a _lie_. Matthew kept quiet for the rest of the conversation, not wanting to embarrass himself by saying something stupid; but Gilbert didn't seem to care. He continued to babble on and on.

"Listen! We are not getting _anything_ done this way any time soon! This is a complete waste of my time! So let's all settle down and get organized, ja?" Ludwig said sternly, interrupting everyone's arguments.

"...And that's why you should hang out with the aweso-" Gilbert stopped talking when he realized everyone was quiet, and honestly he was very embarrassed, but nevertheless he laughed and said, "What, is everyone that interested in the awesome me?"

Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose, and said, "…and we certainly are _not_ having secondary basic conversation with one another. This is a _meeting_ , for God's sake." He said, directed towards his brother. He raised an eyebrow at him when he saw that he was talking with the unnoticed, outspoken country, Canada, but he continued the meeting nevertheless.

During the meeting that would stay organized for another five minutes and then get revolted, Matthew mumbled a soft apology to Gilbert. Gilbert heard him, yes, but he wasn't sure what he was apologizing about. To say the least, he found the small country a bit interesting. No, not in the way that he was so small that he thought he could take over him, _no_ , in the way that he thought that becoming acquainted with him would be good; maybe he'd be able to handle him.

A nagging thought crept into Gilbert's mind: _even if he was a tiny, just-born country you wouldn't be able to take over him anymore. Ha, pathetic._ _That ego of yours is done for, and so are you._ He shook his head a bit obnoxiously, trying to block out those thoughts that had been invading his mind for weeks, perhaps months; he wasn't sure anymore. Matthew noticed, and looked at him a bit worriedly. Gilbert grinned when he saw the Canadian man staring at him, trying to make him forget about his unusual shaking of head earlier by perhaps making him flustered. It worked, as Matthew immediately looked away in embarrassment and said, "N-No, I-I wasn't-" He stopped talking when he realized he was in a civilized meeting at the moment, not an obnoxious one, and because of his stammered loud response to Gilbert everyone turned to look at him.

He felt himself fade away into the air, his soul escaping his body as every country in the room looked in his direction. At least, that's what he wished happened in that embarrassing moment; instead, he blushed heavily and slid far down in his chair while holding his blushing face in his hands.

"What? _Again?_ " Gilbert said, trying to turn the attention to himself instead of the faltering country beside him. "Ahahaha, I guess my awesomeness is contagious, huh?" At hearing his stupid remark, everyone went back to their original meeting and almost instantly forgot about Matthew's incident. Matthew muttered an apology to Gilbert again, hugging his polar bear tighter, his heart hammering in his chest not only because of the embarrassing moment but also because of the fact that someone took a hit for him. He didn't know why, but for some reason his heart had continued to pound for the rest of the meeting, which was a little more than twenty minutes. It was becoming apparent to him that the Prussian made him unusually nervous.

"Man, that was so boring," Gilbert said, stretching his arms and making stretching sounds. He noticed the Canadian country still looked as flustered as he was, maybe even more, as when he had been briefly embarrassed. "Hm? What's up with you? Am I too awesome for ya?" He joked.

Matthew's blush only deepened at hearing this, leaving Gilbert confused and honestly a bit worried. "Uh? Have a fever or somethin'?" Matthew shook his head a bit violently at this sudden question. "N-Nothing, forget it!"

Gilbert raised a questioning eyebrow at this; _What a weird dude…_

"Brother, come on. We _are_ going to go to that bar, right?" Ludwig asks Gilbert, sending a questioning glance at Matthew. Gilbert knew he had agreed to that. They almost always went to a bar together after tiring meetings like this, as brothers, and he knew Ludwig didn't want someone else tagging along. "Yeah, sure, West. Wait for me, yeah?" Ludwig sent him a questioning look, but sighed and nodded. It had been a tiring day. Just as Ludwig was about to walk off, Feliciano jumped and hugged him, not letting go and just clinging onto the German man. "Ludwig, where are you going, ve~ Take me with you~"

Ludwig awkwardly wobbled over outside the room, deducting that Gilbert probably wanted to tell the Canadian something.

Matthew continued to fidget awkwardly, a certain redness on his face. Gilbert's arrogant, cocky expression faded into a bit of a concerned one as most of the countries left the room. "You sure you aren't sick or somethin'?"

Matthew shook his head; all he wanted to do was become invisible to Gilbert again, and leave and go back to his home. Why was he so nervous right now? It's true he hadn't had much interaction with other countries other than his brother, but...

"Alright, how about you come with Antonio, Francis, and I to the bar tomorrow?" Gilbert suggested, not knowing himself that those words were going to come out of his mouth. He had really only begun to talk to Matthew to tease him for the fun of it, but something went wrong.

Matthew stood, shocked, for a good thirty seconds before realizing how long he had stayed silent. Slowly, he nodded, averting his eyes. Gilbert smiled, and laughed, that arrogant expression back on his face, "Alright, I'll come pick you up at ten."

"Ten… in the morning?" Matthew asked, tilting his head in confusion.

Gilbert burst out laughing, patting the unsuspecting country repeatedly on his back as he almost choked on his hysterical laughter, "Good one, man,"

Matthew was hurt; he wasn't joking… Gilbert realized this as Matthew not so much as smiled, "Oh, uh, it's at ten in the evening."

He thought to himself, W _asn't that obvious..? Hasn't he ever gone to a late gathering at a bar before?_ Gilbert actually smirked to himself, thinking that now he could give the poor unnoticed country a thrill in his life for once.

"That's… pretty late… And I'm not sure I want to go in the first place," Matthew mumbled, letting his hand land on his chin and rub it a bit. He really _did_ want to go somewhere for once, and he wanted to be seen. He didn't want to stand in the corner, invisible, again. Yet when someone talked to him, he always messed it up.

"What? Ya don't like the awesome Prussia?" Gilbert asked, pouting. He suddenly coughed momentarily, trying to muffle it before waiting for Matthew's response. Matthew twirled his hair around, not knowing what to say. Of course, he didn't touch the out of place little twirl of hair that stood out, as that would only cause… _things_.

"That's… not it." Matthew muttered. Gilbert obliviously put an arm around his shoulders and said, "Ah, come on! You have to get out once in a while and have fun! Don't be lame. That's like, the opposite of awesome."

Matthew bit his lip, wanting to leave already. His heart still thumped at a fast pace, but he didn't know why. The reason for him not accepting to go to the gathering at the bar was not because he didn't want to be with the Prussian, quite the opposite actually, but if he went he'd only be awkward and out of place.

"Brother, hurry up." Ludwig stated from the doorway, the Italian still clinging close to him. "Feliciano, I'm going somewhere with my brother right now."

Gilbert sighed, but smiled and said, "Well, whatever you decide, I'll still show up at your door tomorrow." He walked over to Ludwig, and they departed off together to the bar.

"What was _that_ about?" His brother asked, curious.

"What? I can't make friends?" Prussia asked. In reality, he kind of wanted to get closer to the Canadian man.

He was… interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Matthew lay in his bed, sighing exasperatedly, staring at the ceiling in his bedroom. Thinking back to his conversation with Gilbert, and how he responded to the bar offer. The words that escaped his throat were nothing but _lies_ ; every fiber in his body wanted to have someone in his life who he could talk to, who was an actual friend. Not even his brother would acknowledge him most of the time. He wanted to listen to Gilbert's voice again, somehow just being around him brightened the mood. _I'm so_ _desperate_ , He thought. _No way I'm going to that bar with him._ He closed the curtains, gazing out at the moon one last time before going to bed, even though it was only nearing ten in the evening. He lied down on his hotel bed even though it was pretty early. He was just a bit tired, ready to fall into a peaceful sleep.

However, it was a different story for Gilbert. Most of his nights were restless and tiring, so he didn't bother to come home at the appropriate time anymore.

 _He was standing in the dark. Complete utter darkness, with only the sound of some kind of liquid dripping onto the ground from somewhere. Slowly, the scene in front of him was illuminated. He saw all of the countries, gathered for a world meeting, with one less chair. Prussia was missing._

 _A group of crows flew above the scenery, and they chewed on it until it was dark again. Gilbert was bewildered, not knowing what he was seeing. The moon showed up in front of him, making him realize something. It wasn't in front of him. It was above him. He was lying on the floor. His blood was dripping from his mouth onto the floor. He was dying. And soon, the crows attacked him all at once._

 _When they cleared away, Gilbert was left lifeless on the floor._

Gilbert woke with a start, sweating with heavy breathing. It was the same dream he'd been having for months, and he wasn't sure why. He hadn't told anyone about it, and with his government, economy, and society falling apart his anxiety had gotten the better of him. These days, he would drink until his brother had to drag him away to block out the pain in his chest that he didn't know where was coming from. Sleep was the worst thing for him, not because he would always awake with a terrible migraine (which he does), but because he'd always have very similar nightmares where he dies. His migraine hit him suddenly, as he had drank again the night before. At this point in everyday is when he'd think of how pathetic and useless he was. He'd think that everyone thought so too, seeing as how they acted as if he was a useless idiot, and his thoughts would drift away and think of how no one would miss him if he really did die like in his dreams, how no one would help him if his government, economy, and society really did topple down.

He would almost begin to weep, but if anyone noticed he'd be done for.

* * *

Matthew was extremely nervous. He was pacing around his hotel room, his clothes he had brought in his luggage scattered all over the room in his frenzy to find what to wear for the bar meet-up. He knew he had said he wouldn't go, and that he didn't want to, but what if Gilbert _did_ come? He really did want to go...

All of a sudden, he stopped pacing around his room. He bit his lip, and thought, _He was probably just teasing me yesterday, right? What if it was all a joke? He's not going to come._

Matthew sighed, and stayed in the pajamas he had been in all day and just turned off the light and went to bed. He wasn't exactly tired, as he hadn't done anything all day except fret over Gilbert's invitation and why his heart was beating so fast for him, but it was either that or let his thoughts drift away to more dark and emotional ones. After a lot of tossing and turning, he was about to fall into a dreamless sleep until his door was knocked on. His eyes shot open at his silence suddenly being disturbed, and for a moment he was confused about who it could possibly be until he remembered about Gilbert. His heart started beating faster and his hands began to sweat, and he looked at himself in the mirror and saw he already had bed hair, and he was still wearing his pajamas. His room was, of course, still scattered with his clothes that he had thrown around trying to find what to wear. He began to panic, and the knock on his door was heard again. He opened the door slightly, poking his head out and hiding his body behind the door since he was still in his pajamas.

Gilbert stood there, wearing his usual casual clothes and almost flawless hair. He was surprised at Matthew's bed hair and tired eyes that appear only after you've taken a short nap or are woken abruptly from sleep.

"U-Uh... I told you... I don't want to go," Matthew mumbled, averting his eyes.

"Ya were already sleeping?" Gilbert asked, bewildered. "It's only ten." Matthew didn't say anything.

"Aw, come on! Have some fun for once! Come with me to the bar, just once!" Gilbert offered.

Matthew shook his head, "N-No... If that's all, then please lea-"

"The awesome me isn't leaving 'till you say yes!" Gilbert said, laughing. He was joking of course, and to take the joke further he pushed the door open and walked in Matthew's room. He noticed the clothes scattered about the room and the bed a mess.

Matthew stood frozen, thinking that Gilbert would think he was a weird, desperate loser. He ran out the door of his own apartment and into the empty hallway; it was late. He felt his heart thud violently in his chest, and his eyes begin to water. _I always screw everything up,_ he thought.

Gilbert was confused. He ran after him, and placed a hand on his shoulder after catching up to him. For some reason, Gilbert was completely out of breath even though he had run only a few feet. Usually he'd be able to go a few couple meters before getting out of breath.

"Wh... Why'd you... Run out?" Gilbert asked. "Nice to know I'm not the only disorganized one, haha!"

He laughed, and Matthew sighed a breath of relief. "Yeah, t-that's it... I'm just disorganized..."

Gilbert took hold of Matthew's arm, and said, "Now, let's go!"

Matthew said, "W-Wait!" But there was no use, Gilbert had made up his mind that Matthew would go with him after picking out a random t-shirt and jeans fallen on the floor in his room.

They arrived at the bar a few couple minutes after, in Gilbert's car. The ride was mostly silent, Matthew too nervous to speak and Gilbert dying from the awkwardness.

"Gilbert! Amigo!" Antonio said, embracing his friend.

"You're late." Francis added, laughing.

"Yeah, the awesome me brought awesome Matthew with me," Gilbert explained.

Francis and Antonio exchanged knowing looks that worried Gilbert, but they accepted that Matthew was here nevertheless.

They sat in the stools near the bar, watching others dance with each other in the near dance floor with the music blasting on the speakers that hurt Matthew's ears. Somehow, he was able to easily become acquainted with Antonio, as his easygoing and somewhat kind nature made him easy for him to talk to.

Seeing Matthew talk so easily and happily to Antonio made something in Gilbert's chest ignite. _Why can't I get him to talk to me like that? Has he already been taken from me, like with... with..._

To block out any other thoughts, Gilbert chugged a cup full of beer down. He was so used to drinking, it didn't faze him much.

 _It's because you're pathetic,_ He thought, chugging down another cup.

 _No one likes you,_ Another.

 _You should just die,_ Another.

 _You're-_

"G-Gilbert, isn't that too much?" Matthew asked all of a sudden. "You should stop."

Gilbert stopped the liquid from reaching his lips, and suddenly got pulled back to reality. He was starting to feel dizzy, but he wasn't drunk yet.

"I'll be fine," He said a bit bitterly as he started to drink another cup. Still, the drinks were affecting him somewhat.

Antonio sighed, "There's nothing I've been able to do to get him to stop."

Matthew raised an eyebrow, "It's happened more than once?"

He nodded, his expression sad. "I know we get drunk sometimes just for the heck of it, but he's has been taking it a bit too far lately."

As Gilbert reached for another cup, Matthew grabbed his hand and halted him. The sudden contact startled Gilbert.

" _I told you to stop it_." Matthew said sternly. " _Please_."

"I told you _no_!" Gilbert said, the drinks making him raise his voice. He was somewhat aware of what he was doing, but he was allowing the drinks to take over him.

Mathew flinched at the raising of his voice, but shook his head nevertheless. "We're leaving."

He took hold of his arm and started to walk out of the bar, Gilbert protesting and cursing at him since the drinks were getting the better of him. He dragged him in the car, but sat in the driver's seat instead. He reached into Gilbert's pocket and fetched the keys, starting the car.

"Why do you even _care_?"Gilbert said bitterly, letting the drinks cloud his judgment. "I should have never invited you. You're just ruining everything, like always."

Matthew was hurt, but tried not to let himself waver. _He's just drunk,_ _that's the only reason he's saying that,_ He thought, trying to reassure himself.

"Prussia, this is for your own good." Matthew said. "Don't you know how much you're hurting your body _and_ your friends by being an alcoholic?"

The drinks were affecting Gilbert's temper, "I'm _not_ an alcoholic! It's just- I use drinks to-"

Matthew raised a questioning eyebrow, waiting for Gilbert to continue. However, even with the drinks fogging his mind he was extremely reluctant in letting that certain thought out.

Matthew sighed, and said, "It doesn't matter the reason. You shouldn't do that to yourself."

"Well, you shouldn't keep yourself from being social or going to places." Gilbert replied.

"What if I turn out like you?" Matthew said, immediately regretting his reply.

Gilbert considerably tensed. "Like _me_? Are you saying I'm repulsive?"

Matthew was surprised, "No! I didn't say-"

"That's what everyone thinks! I should just-"

Matthew places a hand on his cheek, "Gilbert. Stop it. I don't think ill of you. You're a great person."

Gilbert scoffed, grabbing Matthew's collar and bringing his face close, "I can do as I please. If I want to get drunk, I will."

Matthew grew more worried by the second, "Gilbert, don't say things like that!"

"If I want to say something like that, I will." He continued. "If I want to kiss you _, I will."_

He leaned in close to Matthew. Matthew's heart was beating faster and thudding violently in his chest, and he began turning red up his neck, face, and ears. However, he pushed Gilbert's face away and started to drive. His eyes were beginning to water.

"What the hell, Matthew?" Gilbert asked, slumping into his seat.

"You're drunk. That's the only reason you're doing this." Matthew said, his voice wavering.

"I'm _not_ drunk!" Gilbert claimed.

"Yes, you _are_!" Matthew yelled, raising his voice. "I don't want anything from you if you don't mean it!"

"Matthew..." Prussia muttered, his voice softening. The rest of the car ride was silent, until Matthew realized something.

"Which hotel are you checked in?" Matthew asked.

"I'm fine going to your hotel with you~" Gilbert cooed, winking at Matthew, the drinks taking over his senses somewhat.

Matthew's cheeks reddened, and he said, "N-No. Now tell me where your hotel is,"

Gilbert continued teasing him, "But why~ It's more fun when we're together~"

"Gilbert-" Matthew was interrupted when he felt Gilbert's head on his shoulder, with soft breathing. He had fallen asleep because of the drinks. Matthew sighed, but somehow a smile formed on his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Matthew sang along to the song on the radio, subconsciously stroking Gilbert's hair with his free hand and singing the song to him.

When they arrived at the hotel Matthew was staying in, he had to carry him over his shoulder with much difficulty. At his room, he set him down on his bed and pulled the covers over him. He changed into his pajamas, brushed his teeth, and tried to get comfortable on the small couch.

"Ngh... Matthew..." Gilbert mumbled, his voice husky from sleep. "Come here with me..."

Matthew's eyes shot open in surprise, but he rubbed his temples and decided that Gilbert was having some weird dream. That was, until he felt someone tug at his sleeve and drag him onto the bed.

His cheeks instantly heated up, as Gilbert wrapped his arms around the Canadian, still drunk.

 _He's going to be so embarrassed when he's sober and realizes he's done this,_ Matthew thought sadly. But somehow, he fell asleep instantly in Gilbert's arms, in a sleep filled with dreams.

* * *

"Please, don't... No," Gilbert murmured softly in his sleep. "I don't want…"

He wrapped his arms tighter around the Canadian. " _I don't want to go_!"

Gilbert shot up from the bed, sweating and panting like how he always awoke after a nightmare. Matthew immediately woke up as well, as he was a light sleeper somewhat.

He looked over at Gilbert, and saw water starting to form in his eyes. "Gilbert! Gilbert, are you alright?"

Gilbert, still fogged by his nightmare, pushed him away a bit harshly, causing him to fall off the small bed, "Stop it! Stop hurting me!"

Matthew winced, and Gilbert came back to his senses. He saw what he'd done to Matthew in the darkness, and murmured, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." He stood up, grabbed his keys, and went to the door, grabbing the door knob and about to turn it to leave until Matthew grabbed his hand.

"Gilbert, are you okay?" Matthew asked softly, rubbing his eyes from tiredness as it was almost three in the morning.

"Yeah. Fine." Gilbert murmured.

Matthew didn't let go of his hand, "Tell me the truth."

Gilbert sighed and shook his head, "You don't need to worry."

"Is this why you're always drinking?" Matthew asked, his voice seeping with worry.

"You don't need to know." Gilbert replied.

"Yes, I do. I care about you, Gilbert," Matthew answered. "You should have sought help. Drinking is never an option."

Gilbert scoffed, "Does it even make a difference? When I'm sober, I feel pain."

"Gilbert..." Matthew said, not knowing what to say. He barely knew the man, but nevertheless he couldn't help but be worried. Gilbert pushed his wrist out of Matthew's hold a bit harshly, and turned the door knob to leave the room before walking down the empty, dark hallway.

"Gilbert, wait!" Matthew yelled, watching him disappear down the stairs. He sighed, and went to lay down in his bed. Matthew's scent was still present, and he couldn't help but think about him.

He barely knew anything about the Prussian before this. All he knew was that he admired how he was always expressing himself and saying everything in a straightforward manner. He admired how, though his ego was seemingly too high, he didn't let other people walk over him. Matthew was somewhat worried about him, and decided that no matter how much it felt like his heart would jump out of his chest, he'd gradually talk to him.

Matthew sighed, and looked at the clock beside his bed. It read 4:19 A.M. He tried to go back to sleep, but the Prussian continued to come into his mind. He continued tossing and turning, until he heard a loud knocking on his door that shot him straight up from his bed. He felt so tired and exhausted from lack of sleep, and by looking at the clock he saw it was nearing noon. He sighed once more, and wondered if he'd gotten any real sleep.

The loud knocking continued, and he got up and faltered on his steps, before opening the door. "Mattie? You okay, bro? Ya look tired."

"Alfred?" Matthew asked, suddenly being brought back to reality. He shook his head, rubbing his eyes a bit and about to push up his glasses until he realized he hadn't put them on. "Yeah. I went to sleep a bit late last night."

It was a half lie, but not entirely. "Why're you up so early, Alfred?"

Alfred sent a surprised look at his brother, and said quickly, "Ya don't remember? Dude! Today's the party!"

"What party?" Matthew asked.

"Weren't you invited by Mathias?" Alfred asked, surprised once more.

"... I guess I wasn't invited." Matthew said slowly, the fact making him feel a bit down. Going unnoticed and ignored he was used to, but it still hurt him.

"Wait! Uh," Alfred reached into his pocket, all while slurping his coke. Rummaging noises of paper and who knows what else were heard, and finally he reached out a crumpled up envelope, handing it to Matthew. "I forgot! He told me to give this to you."

Matthew took the envelope, and barely readable was the words "To: America's Brother". He sighed, feeling even worse but trying to just put it aside.

"Why would you think I'd go? Shouldn't you be with Arthur or something?" Matthew asked. America's cheery expression quickly faded as it was replaced with a frown.

"No way I'm talking to that guy!" He said a bit bitterly.

"So you guys had a silly argument! And you came here thinking I'd be a rebound so that you won't be alone." Matthew said bluntly, looking angry at his brother.

"It wasn't silly! He seriously-" Alfred was about to go on and on about how much of a jerk the British man had been to him, but Matthew tried to close the door so Alfred grabbed it before it closed. "You're _not_ my rebound, bro!"

"Bye, Alfred." Matthew said, proceeding to close the door. He was always complaining to himself how much of a jerk Alfred was to him, but when Alfred tried to be with him and help him out he would just push him away.

"Mattie! Come on, don't be that way." Alfred yelled from the other side of the door. "There's a reason I came over here. More than just telling you about the party."

Matthew sighed, but slowly opened his door fully to let the American inside.

"What is it?" He asked, rubbing his eyes from sleep and reaching for his glasses, putting them on.

Alfred sighed, "It's... It's Arthur. He's been a real pain in the ass, dude."

Matthew raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

"I try to ask him to come with me for lunch or something, and he always rejects me. Every time." Alfred said, sighing.

"Alfred, maybe you have to consider that he isn't very fond of the food or diners you go to." Matthew said.

"Yeah, but I just want to give him some quality food, you know! Those scorns of his are really awful..." Alfred said under his breath.

"Look, Alfred, if you like him, you'll suck it up and eat his scorns and drink his tea with him. He will eventually do the same for you if he likes you." Matthew said at last, the lack of sleep making this conversation make him even more tired.

"What?! I never said I liked him!" Alfred protested, pouting and crossing his arms.

"Right, well, I'll just tell you this now... He might not like you that way, Alfred. You'll have to accept that if that's the case, and move on." Matthew said sternly. "Now, was that all?"

Alfred sighed, "Well, please come to this party, Mattie. Just stick around with me for a while."

"What? Why don't you go hang around Francis if you want to make him jealous? Or even Kiku, I'm sure he won't mind your company too much." Matthew suggested, immediately regretting giving his brother ideas. "Alfred, making him jealous isn't the right way to go about things."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Alfred said, slurping his coke. "Well, see ya later, bro!"

Matthew sighed; the only reason Alfred wanted him to go to the party was to make Arthur jealous, and now that he gave him the France and Japan idea he figured Alfred didn't care anymore. It was a bad idea in the first place.

The mere idea of going to a party was terrible to Matthew, yet he still found himself asking a certain question. "Um.. Brother... What other... Countries are going? Is it just Axis Powers and the Allies?"

He was trying not to directly ask him if Gilbert was going, because if he straight out asked him "Is Gilbert going?", then Alfred would think Matthew liked him and tease him.

Alfred, being oblivious as he was, didn't notice anything. "Uh, no, as far as I know all of the countries were invited."

Matthew nodded. Alfred continued, "Why'd you ask?"

"N... No reason. Just curious." Matthew said.

"So, are ya coming then?" Alfred asked.

"I... I'll think about it." Matthew murmured, gesturing to the door. "And, uh. Alfred... Is it formal clothing?"

Alfred grinned, knowing that that meant he would come. He wasn't sure why, though, because usually Matthew wouldn't even consider going. "Nah, dude, it's casual as far as I know."

"Well, okay. I was just asking, alright?" Matthew said all of a sudden, his voice becoming high-pitched as he rubbed his chin and looked away. Alfred snickered, "You do the same thing every time you lie, Mattie!"

Matthew tilted his head, and asked curiously, "Do what?"

Alfred grinned and shook his head, "Nevermind that," He said. "But now I know you had ulterior motives. Is the fact that your hero of a big brother is going not enough for ya, Mattie?"

Matthew noted how Alfred's voice got a bit higher after he asked the question, and although he tried to seem like he was playing around, Matthew had been with him long enough to realize that he wasn't. "Well..." Matthew mumbled.

Taking away his playful nature, Alfred furrowed and brows and frowned, "It's not, huh? Guess I'm not as much of a hero as I thought I was...?"

Matthew was surprised at Alfred's change in nature all of a sudden. "Alfred, how can I believe that when all you ever seem to do these days is forget and ignore me?"

He hadn't intended to spill out the truth of how he felt just like that, it just happened. Alfred's eyes widened, and somehow he seemed to have a sympathetic and regretful look on his face. "Mattie..." He approached his brother, but Matthew only pushed him away and hid his face behind his bangs, closing his tired eyes that were beginning to fill with tears.

"Forget it." Matthew mumbled. "Get things straight with Arthur, Alfred, because he's making you act weird."

With that said, Matthew gestured to the door as a way of telling him to leave.

"F... Fine." Alfred murmured, feeling uneasy about the way his brother felt about him. "The party is at eight." He left the room, leaving an eerie silence as Matthew sighed to himself and lied back down on his bed. He removed his glasses, and proceeded to go back to sleep after turning off the light.

* * *

"Brother? Brother, where were you?" Ludwig asked worriedly, brows furrowed. He had been worried sick, as his brother hadn't come home at all the other night.

"I think I have the right to go wherever I want." Gilbert murmured.

Ludwig rubbed his temples, sighing and trying to control his irritation. "Alright, alright, sorry." He said softly, realizing that his brother wasn't being himself. "What is it?"

Gilbert sighed, and whispered softly, "He _knows_ now, brother."

Ludwig raised a questioning eyebrow, "Who knows what?"

Gilbert shook his head, and suddenly a huge grin was plastered on his face. "Aw, were you worried over the awesome me? So cute!"

He went to stretch his brother's cheeks, but Ludwig smacked it away. "Alright, whatever." Ludwig murmured. "Well, don't forget about the party at eight, ja?"

"What?" Gilbert asked, having completely forgotten after the incident with Matthew. "Oh, yeah, I remember." He coughed a bit, but left Ludwig alone in their shared room.

* * *

Matthew woke promptly from his nap, rubbing his eyes and putting on his glasses to look at the time. It read 8:40 P.M. He immediately sat up, remembering about the party and checking his phone to see if anyone bothered to try and check on him. _No notifications_. He sighed, but rushed to brush his teeth and take a shower, changing into whatever he found lying around. He was already rushing toward Mathias's house when it was 9 P.M., and knocked frantically on the door. A half drunk Mathias opened the door, with a dumbfounded face saying "Who are you?"

Matthew sighed, and shook his head, about to turn around. _What am I even doing here?_

Mathias, however, said quickly, "Oh, wait! You're America's brother, Canadia right?"

Matthew sighed inwardly, tired of people semi-forgetting his name. He nodded nevertheless, and proceeded to walk inside the house.

"You're pretty late," Mathias said, trying to make small talk for a few seconds and smiling cheerfully before going back to his own friends. "Thanks for coming anyway!"

Matthew nodded a bit, not wanting to hold him back. He wanted to say, _Thanks for not forgetting to invite me_ , but decided otherwise. He looked around the nicely decorated home, scattered with beer bottles and such after only an hour. Alfred was sitting at a table with a burger and his arm around Kiku, who looked very awkward and timid under his hold. Matthew sighed; he had forgotten about the moment he gave him the jealousy idea.

Gilbert was at the bar, drinking a beer with Antonio and talking. Not far from him was Elizabeta and Roderich conversing with one another, Elizabeta noticeably blushing. Everyone was more or less having a great time, but Matthew didn't really have anywhere to go now that Alfred forgot about him again and Gilbert was upset with him. He sighed, and went over to a seat by the tables and just sat there awkwardly. His phone had turned off due to low battery, and after a while he had considered leaving.

That was, until he felt someone sit on him. From the long coat and scarf, he deduced that it was Ivan, who had sat on him once before.

"U-Uh, excuse me," Matthew says, tapping on Ivan's shoulders very hesitantly, trying to get his attention. After a few taps on Ivan's shoulders, the said country finally noticed Matthew under him suffocating to death. "Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there. Be more careful next time, da?" Ivan apologizes with a smile almost looking too kind while getting off of Matthew's now crushed body. He terrified him, so he only nodded. He then walked away like if nothing happened. After Ivan was out of earshot, Matthew sighed before once again sitting down on the chair, all alone. He played with the edge of his shirt, the loud music hurting his ears and the bright lights hurting his eyes. The happy, dancing people around him made him feel empty and unneeded there.

* * *

It felt like it had been several hours at the party with how miserable Matthew was feeling. He really hadn't moved from his seat at all, and the only thing being at this party accomplished for him was having to go to the bathroom. He got up, and instantly a wave of music, blinding lights, and interacting people hit him in the face, and he almost physically stumbled backwards. He inwardly sighed, and wondered what the hell he was even doing here. But, where was the bathroom?

He went to look for Alfred, being the only person he'd be able to ask, and found him glaring daggers at Arthur.

"Alfred, do you know where the bathroom is?" Matthew asked his brother.

It took a moment for Alfred to process the question and the person in front of him, "Oh, hey, Mattie! You actually came!"

Matthew nodded, and wanted to say _yeah, but I wish I hadn't_.

"And uh, sorry, I got no clue, dude. You should ask Mathias or something."

Matthew left, leaving Alfred to glare daggers at the British man. He went to look for Gilbert, who was the only other person who was acquainted with, but couldn't find him. Antonio was conversing with Francis instead. Then, Matthew had no other choice but to ask the host. He went over the beer cans tossed across the floor, and pushed his way through lots of people. He finally spotted Mathias, drinking a beer with Norway, Iceland, Sweden, and Finland. He awkwardly went over there, and hesitantly tapped on the blonde man's shoulder. He turned around a bit abruptly, spilling his beer a bit in the process. Matthew deciphered he was probably drunk.

"Um… Do you have a bathroom?" He murmured.

"What are you, an idiot? Who doesn't have a bathroom?" Mathias snapped, frightening him.

Iceland sighed noticeably, and turned to Matthew, saying softly, "It's upstairs, two doors to the right. Don't break anything."

Matthew thanked the said country, appreciating his straightforwardness. He heard Mathias laugh a bit obnoxiously behind him, and like always he assumed he was laughing at him. He just wanted to go home already. He walked up the stairs of the considerably large house, and without thinking opened the second door to the left. He found there was already someone in there; Gilbert. He was coughing a bit at the sink, but Matthew didn't think much of it and just walked over to him. "Hey, um, Gilbert…"

Gilbert's eyes widened when he realized he had forgotten to lock the door; he didn't want anyone to see him like this. He immediately washed up at the sink and reached for the small towel at his right, using it to wipe his mouth but unintentionally coughed into it.

"Look, I-I'm sorry about yesterday… It w-wasn't right of me to pry i-if you didn't want to talk… And I just –" Matthew stopped talking for a moment, looking at Gilbert in confusion who was staring at the towel in terror. "H-Hey, what is it?"

He reached for the towel, but Gilbert pushed him away and hurried to the trashcan. He tripped over his own foot, and almost fell to the concrete floor until Matthew took hold of his body and steadied him. The fallen towel on the ground was stained a crimson red in the middle; fresh blood.

"Gilbert? Is… Is that your blood?" Matthew asked, his voice trembling. He inspected the Prussian, noticing how pale he looked.

"I just… drank something I was allergic to…" He explained, obliviously resting his aching body on the Canadian's.

"Come on… I'll get you home…" Matthew said softly. "Can you walk?"

Gilbert nodded, but noticeably faltered on his steps.

"Where did you park your car?" Matthew asked.

Gilbert shook his head, muttering, "I didn't… I came with…"

"It's alright, I got it…" Matthew soothed, opening the door for the Prussian and leading him slowly down the stairs. He told him to wait somewhere, and went over to his brother.

"Alfred, can I please borrow your car?" Matthew asked.

Alfred raised an eyebrow at his brother, noticing the pleading look on his face. He decided that he wanted to change his crumbling relationship with his brother, and sighed, nodding, "Yeah, sure, but… how will _I_ get home?" He handed him the car keys and explained where it was.

Matthew looked at Kiku, then back at Alfred, and grinned. "No… Mattie, I can't –"

Before Alfred could protest further, Matthew left him and went over to Gilbert, helping him over to Alfred's car.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

After placing Gilbert in the passenger seat of Alfred's car and starting the engine, Matthew broke the silence, "Do you want me to take you to your hotel?"

Gilbert shook his head without so much as a glance in Matthew's direction, muffling some of his coughs and looking out of the window. Matthew sighed to himself, and started the way to his hotel. When they arrived, he turned off the car, but made no action of getting up.

"Gilbert, what's going on?" Matthew asked, his voice soft as he knew the subject was touchy.

"It's none of your business." Gilbert muttered, trying to get out of the car by himself but faltering. Matthew rushed to his side, helping him inside the hotel and up the elevator. All the while, a bird was flying around them, chirping constantly. The bird even went inside Matthew's hotel room with them. He figured it belonged to Gilbert, because at several world meetings and such he would see it sitting on his head. He placed Gilbert on his bed and put the covers over him, and looking at the clock he realized it was almost two in the morning. He sighed, and almost fell over by how the bird was pecking at his hair.

"G-Gilbert! Is this yours?" Matthew asked exasperatedly, hopping around the room trying to get the bird away. Gilbert chuckled, and his smile seemed to light up the room. Matthew found himself staring, despite the bird bothering him.

"Gilbird!" Gilbert said sternly, and suddenly the bird stopped fretting around the Canadian and sat on Gilbert's head. "Sorry about that."

Matthew nodded, but couldn't get the fact that Gilbert didn't trust him enough to tell him what was going on with him out of his head. Then again, they'd only started talking a day or two ago; it wasn't much of a surprise but the Canadian had an urge to gain his trust and get closer. For the time being, he decided to put that aside and simply care for Gilbert.

"Wouldn't your brother be worried if you didn't come home again?" Matthew asked, genuinely concerned.

"I'll send him a text." Gilbert said, taking his phone out of his pocket.

"He'll start to wonder what you're doing with me so often." Matthew advised, rubbing his temples. "You shouldn't hang with me so much, or people will start to take notice."

"The awesome me can do as I please." Gilbert joked, sending his brother a text saying that he was staying over at someone's hotel again. He almost immediately received a text back, and his expression changed from neutral to tired.

"Looks like Ludwig and I have to take care of some business tomorrow morning." Gilbert groaned, the thought of having to wake up early putting him off. "And animals aren't allowed to the place where the conference is being held. Think you can take care of Gilbird for me, Matthew?"

The question hit the Canadian by surprise, and as he glanced at the bird it seemed as if the bird was glaring at him, "H-He doesn't seem to like me very much, Gilbert…"

"Nah, you'll be fine. I'll tell Ludwig to bring over his food and water if you agree. The meeting will only be for two or three boring hours, I think." Gilbert pleaded, rolling his eyes.

"You take care of Gilbird, Gilbert?" Matthew asked, a bit surprised that he had a connection with the bird.

"Well, don't you have that weird polar bear?" Gilbert retorted, chuckling at the Canadian's embarrassed face.

"Kumajirou is _not_ weird!" Matthew

Matthew argued, scowling at the laughing Prussian. "But… okay, fine. He won't kill me, right?"

Gilbert shook his head, chuckling. However, Matthew viewed this as an opportunity to get closer to him, to gain his trust little by little. He brushed his teeth, changed into his maple leaf pajamas, and was about to crash on the couch until Gilbert spoke up, "It's your hotel room, why're you going to the couch?"

"Well, I, uh - "

"Either _I_ sleep on the couch, or you come here _with_ me." Gilbert said, smirking at the blushing Canadian. "I'm not drunk, Matthew. I don't mind."

Matthew hesitated, but reluctantly he slipped into the bed with the Prussian. However, this time around they didn't cuddle or get close together like last time, as they were both sober now. For some reason, it made Matthew sad that the Gilbert hadn't wrapped his arm around him like the night prior, but he was too afraid to make a move himself. Gilbert, on the other hand, wasn't sure whether Matthew wanted him to do so, and instead kept his hands to himself and slept on his side of the bed.

When Matthew awoke from his slumber, the Prussian beside him was gone. Instead, he found a little sticky note on the nightstand next to his bed that had some of Gilbert's surprisingly neat handwriting on it. Somehow, he felt a bit lonely without Gilbert next to him. Looking at the clock, he realized it was already noon. He put on his glasses in order to read the note.

 _Geez, you sleep like a log. Well, can't blame you; I had to wake up at 5… ;A; Sleep well, Gilbird's food and water I already placed on the desk. Also, don't feel too lonely without the awesome me_

 _Gilbert_

Matthew blushed at the last part of the message and wondered if he had been able to predict his thoughts exactly. He was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt Gilbird start to peck at his hair again.

"H-Hey, stop it!" Matthew yelped, feeling the bird peck and scratch at his face harshly. The sudden sound of knocking startled Matthew. With much difficulty, he opened the door to find an angry American at his door.

"Just when were you planning to give me back my car, Mattie?! I called you like twenty times after the party!" Alfred yelled, furious and coming into the hotel room.

Matthew, still being harassed by the bird, reached for his phone and saw that he had twenty-five missed calls from Alfred and three messages all reading "DUDE!" "WILL YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE?" "WHERE IS MY CAR?"

"Y-You texted me at 4 in the morning, I was sleeping by then, Alfred." Matthew said, sighing apologetically as the bird proceeded to pester him.

"Dude! You made me have to get home with _Kiku_!" Alfred said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Do you have any idea how _awkward_ that guy is?"

"E-Excuse me for intruding," Kiku muttered. He stood by the door way, watching the fiasco between the two brothers take place. He stared at Gilbird for a while, "… but doesn't that belong to Mr. Prussia?"

Matthew began to sweat nervously, his voice became high-pitched and he rubbed his chin, "W-What? No, I, uh, it's not like that!"

Suddenly Alfred's angry expression turned into a smug grin, "So you're into that guy, huh? Is that why you needed my car? To bring him over here and make a _move_? Damn, Mattie, didn't think you were that daring."

Matthew began to fidget, wincing at the bird's scratches.

"W-What, no! Of course not!" Matthew persisted, his voice serious even as he was being harassed by the bird. "I'm just taking care of Gilbird until he comes back from his meeting."

"That right…?" Alfred said, that smug grin still on his face. "Well, whatever the case, Kiku and I are about to head over and get some burgers! Right, Kiku?"

He looked over at Kiku, and Kiku sighed, shaking his head, "Just this once, I suppose. I am a bit hungry."

"Thanks, dude! That's awesome!" Alfred said, smiling happily. Matthew noticed the soft smile Kiku had on his face while looking at Alfred. It was adorable.

"Well, uh, here are your car keys," Matthew said, getting the keys from the nightstand and giving them to his brother. "Thanks for letting me borrow your car."

"Yeah, no problem, Mattie! That's what a hero is for!" Alfred said. "Well, see ya later, bro!"

He took hold of Kiku's hand, who immediately blushed, and headed out the door and outside, where it was sunny and nice. Matthew closed the door, and after sighing went over to the window and looked at how bright and sunny it was. He wanted to go out and go to a breakfast diner with someone special. He sighed at his thoughts, and after taking a shower and brushing his teeth with much difficulty because of Gilbird, he went to the small kitchen in the hotel room and made some pancakes. He made some for Gilbert, since he had said the meeting was to be two or three hours. But now he was worrying a bit; Gilbert said he had woken up at 5; just how long was the meeting? It was almost one in the afternoon, and Matthew didn't want to get stuck with Gilbird much longer.

Matthew washed his dish in the sink, and went over to the window. He opened it in order to feel some of the sunlight on his skin, and the gentle wind put his mind at ease. That was, until a certain bird flew right past him and out the window. It took him a moment to process what was happening as he watched the bird fly straight out the window and into the large American city ahead of him.

The only thoughts that went through his mind was: _Gilbert will hate me if I lose Gilbird like this! I'm such an idiot, I –_

But as quickly as those thoughts came, was as quickly as the Canadian jumped out of the window in his hotel room, which was located on the second floor. He grabbed on to the solid branch of a large tree next to his window, making the fall not as hard. A small pain ached on his ankle after the fall, but nevertheless he ran in the direction that Gilbird had flown off to. He ran and ran, in his sweatpants and t-shirt, through quite a lot of people who had gone to the American city. He passed by shopping centers and grocery stores, dollar shops and little food stands, and only stopped when he had bumped into someone and fallen to the ground.

"You okay?" A friendly, feminine voice asked. Matthew looked up and took in the sight of Seychelles, a beautiful girl with brown skin and long chestnut brown hair tied into two pig-tails, along with bright, curious brown eyes. She was wearing a bright blue dress that looked amazing on her, in Matthew's opinion. He blushed, and nodded while taking her hand as she helped lift him up. That was when he realized he was so out of breath, his lungs were on fire. "What're you in such a rush for, Matthew?"

The fact that she had remembered his country _and_ name made him feel all tingly inside, and it took him a while to answer because of the girl's dazzling beauty. "I-I, uh… I-I'm looking for a bird that…uh, it kind of flew out of my window, and…"

"Oh, no! That's terrible! Do you need any help finding it?" She asked, smiling softly. "I'm always up for an adventure!"

Matthew nodded, "Y-Yes, thank you… It's, uh, Gilbird… Very small, yellow…"

"I'll go looking for him in the direction I was heading prior to our encounter, then! It was nice meeting you! I'll be sure to try to find you if I do find Gilbird." She said, giving a small wave and a bright smile as she walked away in the opposite direction.

Matthew found himself asking himself just how a beautiful girl could be that kind, and got lost in thought thinking about her until he remembered about Gilbird. He rushed off, asking people if they had seen Gilbird, describing him. Some had said no, whilst some had pointed him in a direction, and the entire day he spent wandering around the big American city in search of Gilbird.

Eventually, he stopped running in order to catch his breath, and when he looked at the sky he realized it had gotten dark. It had gotten very cold since it was nearing late May, and the harsh wind only made it colder; not only that, he was also very hungry. Many people who were walking past him to casinos and such bumped into him since he was the middle of the street.

"Move it, loser." One man said, wearing dark glasses and expensive-looking clothing. He had bright blonde hair and brown eyes, and there was a lady holding his hand. "If you're that tired, go home to your mommy."

Matthew wanted to yell at his face and tell him that he was no loser, that he was a very important country, but instead he muttered an apology and continued to wander. He was shivering immensely from the cold; the temperature was dropping at a gradual pace. When it started to rain, he walked into one of the shops and looked at the clock, realizing it was past ten in the evening. He had spent his entire day looking for Gilbird, to no avail. He sighed, and tried to go back to from where he came; but then he realized he didn't know where he was. Sure, he had come to visit America quite a lot of times, but he had never wandered this far alone. What way was his hotel? How far was he from there? He tried to get his phone to see if Alfred could help him, but then he realized he hadn't brought his phone with him.

Turning many corners, traffic lights, cars, and casinos, he continued to walk in the direction he thought he had come from since it had gotten too cold and it had started raining quite hard, but there was no confirmation that he was going the right way. He was feeling a bit dizzy, and he had trouble with his coordination for some reason. He only realized something was wrong when he lost balance and fell into the river beside the sidewalk. He swam to the shore when he realized he had fallen into some sort of body of water. His body was shivering a lot now, from the ice cold water and the harsh wind. His clothes and hair were soaked, sticking to his skin. He stopped in a dark corner, feeling his throat dry up. He was so cold; all he wore was a t-shirt and some sweatpants, and yet, still, the wind was blowing harshly against his skin. His stomach roared in hunger, but he didn't think he deserved to eat yet if he hadn't even found Gilbird. _Why did I have to open that damn window?_ He thought bitterly to himself, feeling hot tears well up in his eyes. _Gilbert will hate me._ _He won't ever trust me._

Just as quickly as he started to weep silently to himself, was just as quickly as he heard loud footsteps running near him, but he kept his eyes shut tightly, because above all else he was scared. It was dark out and there weren't many people around now that he wasn't in the city. When he felt someone take hold of his shoulders, he yelped in terror and on reflex gave a lousy punch in the direction of the person.

"Woah! Matthew, it's just the awesome me!" Someone said, and when he opened his eyes he saw none other than Gilbert with a concerned expression on his face.

"G-Gilbert…" Matthew choked out, and suddenly the tears came out like a waterfall at the sight of him. He covered his face with his hands, rubbing away at his eyes. "I-I'm s-so sorry… I-I just… I opened the window a-and… h-he… I-I tried to… L-Look for him, and I-I'm sorry, p-please don't hate me…"

He began to shake, both from fear and from the cold, since it had begun to rain a lot harder. Gilbert chuckled, and took off his own coat and placed it on Matthew. He opened his umbrella again and held it between them. "Don't worry about it. Let's just head back, alright? You must be cold and starving."

"Y-You don't hate me?" Matthew asked, eyes widening. He was speaking in a very slurred manner that was hard to understand. "B… But…"

"I had gone back to the hotel, and a few hours ago Seychelles came by and brought me Gilbird." Gilbert explained, trying to put the Canadian at ease. To be truthful, he had gotten to the hotel room at around six in the afternoon, a bit angry that the meeting ended up taking a lot longer than he expected it to last. However, when he knocked, there was no answer, and he used the spare key he had gotten. When he entered, there was no one in the room, and the window was wide open. Matthew's phone was placed on the counter, and Gilbird wasn't anywhere in sight either. Gilbert began to worry, but it wasn't too difficult to deduce that Gilbird had flown out the window to Matthew's dismay.

What he was really worried about was how long Matthew was out there. He decided to wait a little longer, but an hour later someone came knocking, and opening the door he saw Seychelles holding a calm, almost smiling Gilbird on her head. She said that she had helped Matthew find Gilbird, but didn't know where he was so she went to his hotel. When Gilbert told her that Matthew wasn't back yet, she told him to tell him that she thanked him for the adventure. She hoped that he was okay, as she really did find him kind and cute.

Gilbert couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy at hearing that Matthew had spent some time of his day with Seychelles and not him, but pushed that thought aside when he realized it really was getting late and he still hadn't returned.

Having the Canadian right beside him under the shared, large umbrella somehow put him at ease, as did it to Matthew. But still, Matthew's heart hammered in his chest since their shoulders were brushing. "And… Awesome me doesn't hate you. You did go to the extent of looking for him, after all."

Suddenly, Mathew started to laugh and cry at the same time, a deranged sound was the result of it that worried the heck out of Gilbert. "W-What is it?!"

Matthew shook his head, wiping away the tears and saying, "I thought you'd hate me… T-Thank you for not." He noticed that his shivering had stopped, even though he was freezing. He found it a bit weird but didn't put much thought into it.

"Well, w-whatever. Let's just get back to the hotel already. It's starting to rain a lot harder." Gilbert said, changing the subject and putting his free hand in front of his mouth. He usually got nervous and awkward when someone cried in front of him, since he didn't know how to react. "And, anyway, why're you soaking wet? I know it's raining, but…"

"I-I fell into a river…" Matthew muttered, embarrassed. Gilbert didn't know how to answer to that other than being shocked, and instead made a note to himself to tell the Canadian to change clothes immediately and drink something warm when they got to the hotel. He also noticed how Matthew was limping slightly.

When they arrived to the front of the hotel room, Gilbert said, "Well, goodbye, Mattie. Don't miss the awesome me too much~"

"W-What? You're leaving?" Matthew asked, finding himself surprised and a little sad. He quickly shook his head, ashamed that he had asked such a stupid question. This wasn't even his house, and he and Gilbert didn't even know each other very well. "N-Nevermind. Uh, you need the bird f-food and water back, right…"

His breathing was slow and shallow despite having walked a long way, and when he tried to walk inside his hotel room he stumbled a bit and almost lost balance and fell until Gilbert caught him.

"What's up with you? You're not allergic to Gilbird, are you?" Gilbert asked.

Matthew shook his head, "I would have gotten sick a long time ago if that was the case…" He mumbled, his speaking slurred.

"Then…" Gilbert leaned forward and placed his hand under Matthew's hair and onto his forehead. It was really cold, to his surprise. "Matthew… How long were you out there?"

"I-I left around one…" Matthew mumbled, shaking his head. "I-I'm fine… Don't worry about m-me."

"Did you eat anything?" Gilbert asked, worried. "You didn't bring a sweater? You went out in just that? Didn't you come back to the hotel?"

Matthew shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, "I-It's not that big of a…"

Then suddenly he blacked out for a few seconds, and when he came to Gilbert was holding him by the shoulders asking him what was wrong, and telling him that he should have told him he got sick easily. Gilbird was chirping non-stop all over again, seemingly noticing that something had happened to the Canadian.

Gilbert realized that Matthew had been out there for long after nine hours, without eating. He hadn't been wearing a sweater or carrying an umbrella when it started to rain hard and when it had started to get very cold. He didn't know what to do, but immediately he carried Matthew in his arms and left the hotel altogether while Gilbird slipped into his breast pocket, and after asking where the nearest hospital was he ran over there, through the rain, and through the cold, with an umbrella he had put under his arm to block the rain from the Canadian. Gilbert didn't get sick very easily, so a few minutes in the rain wouldn't cause him sickness.

When he arrived to the nearest hospital, some nurses took hold of Matthew and rushed him to another room when they realized he was soaking wet yet not shivering in the slightest, and that he was half-conscious. They hadn't told Gilbert a word, and instead left him to wait by himself in the waiting room. The only thought that raced through his mind was " _It's all my fault..._ "

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! If you have any ideas for this story, feel free to let me know. And also, please leave reviews if you enjoyed or want to give constructive criticism!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The racing nurses and heavy supplies in carts had concerned the Gilbert for the Canadian's welfare. He sighed to himself, remembering Matthew's half-conscious face when he had rushed him to the hospital, when he had clung to his shirt and continued to mutter that he was okay.

He pulled over in the hospital's parking lot, the sun's brightness hitting him on his face when he got out. He had left a few couple minutes after he dropped off the Canadian and explained things to the doctor, and gone to his shared hotel room with Ludwig.. The doctor had called him at around noon the next day saying that Matthew had woken up, so he made his way over there.

The past conversation between him and one of the doctors crossed his mind.

"Right, Mr. Gilbert. I understand you are a friend of Mr. Williams, yes?" The doctor asked, and Gilbert nodded his head. "I've come to ask you a few questions about his condition before he fell unconscious in order to figure out his illness or what's causing it."

 _I'm the one who caused it,_ Gilbert thought. _It's all my fault. I should have gone looking for him from the beginning. I should have called, or told him that if Gilbird flew off he didn't have to worry because I could just summon him back. It's all my fault, my fault…_

"Right, well, he had been outside from the afternoon to late evening, and from what he told me he hadn't eaten… And it had started raining and gotten cold but he wasn't wearing a sweater and he didn't have an umbrella. He also said he had fallen into a river… He seemed fine when I found him, but when we went back to the hotel he kind of started to lose his balance, and he spoke in a way that was really hard to understand… Then he kind of went unconscious for a few seconds but he came to."

The doctor was taking note of everything he was saying, listening intently.

"In my understanding he was exposed to long-term cold temperature and heavy rain, and in addition cold water, yes? And he had lack of coordination and slurred speech, along with gradual loss of consciousness?" The doctor asked, and Gilbert confirmed. "This is very important, Mr. Gilbert. Was he shivering when you found him? Was he worried about himself?"

"Well he was at first, but when we started walking to the hotel he kind of stopped shivering. And, well, no, but he is a modest person." Gilbert answered.

"Thank you." The doctor said, taking a last note of the information before turning around and about to head back to the Canadian's room.

"Wait!" Gilbert protested, his loud voice almost shaking the quiet hospital. "What's wrong with him? Will he be alright?"

"I have to do some tests before I solidly diagnose him with something. Please be patient." The doctor told him before returning to the hospital room. When she returned after about half an hour later, she began explaining things to the confused and worried Prussian.

"Based on his symptoms, and the reading on the rectal thermometer, I think it's safe to say he has developed moderate hypothermia." She explained, although Gilbert didn't know what that was. "It's when heat is lost faster than the body can make some. Don't worry, I have already rewarmed his blood by using a hemodialysis machine. He will be alright after a day or two. When he comes to, I give you permission to take him with caution."

Gilbert nods, glad at the news. She smiles, and adds, "He is a country, however, so I suspect he might heal a lot quicker."

He was very happy at hearing Matthew would go back to him, but then found himself waiting in the waiting room for him wondering why he was feeling that way. Just a few days ago, he was a complete stranger that meant nothing to him. And yet after spending time with him, he meant so much more to him. Gilbert shook his head and told himself that he was only worried because of the guilt that it was his fault, not because of anything else.

"Mr. Gilbert, Matthew is ready for release." The doctor said. He followed the doctor to the Canadian's room and walked in through the door. The doctor left the room briefly to leave them to themselves.

"Matthew." Gilbert said, but that was the only thing that left his lips. He didn't know what to say.

Matthew's cheeks noticeably darkened, and he asked, "Oh, maple. How long have I been here? Were you waiting? Did Alfred find out?"

"About a day. And, uh, I called him earlier and he said he'd be here shortly, but…" Gilbert trailed off, knowing how much Alfred meant to Matthew although the American seemed busy at some kind of social event.

Matthew's expression drooped. "But, uh, look on the bright side! The awesome me is here! What more do you need?" Gilbert said, trying to chee him up. He expected Matthew to continue sulking, but instead he smiled. Although he had smiled various times before him, he found himself staring.

"You're right," Matthew said softly, continuing to smile. "Thank you."

Gilbert continued to stare, although time seemed to pass slowly.

"What is it? Is there something on my face?" Matthew asked.

When Gilbert realized he had been staring, he brought his hand up to his mouth out of embarrassment, "No. Just, forget it. Let's go. I brought you a change of clothes from your hotel room."

He handed the change of clothes to Matthew, making him realize he was wearing one of those hospital gowns. "Oh, right." He said, taking the t-shirt and jeans. He stood up and turned around, "Can you pull this thing over my head for me?"

"What?" Gilbert asked, surprised. He was expecting Matthew to be embarrassed to change in front of him, and to be truthful Gilbert found himself hesitant. "Oh, uh, sure."

He pulled the hospital gown over Matthew's head and set it on the bed, and Canada reached for his pants. Gilbert was turning away, his heart beat suddenly accelerating. Then suddenly he heard Matthew yell, trip and fall, and quickly he turned around and caught him.

Matthew was halfway through putting on his pants, but then he realized he had put them on the wrong way out of nervousness and tried to take them off before Gilbert noticed and made fun of him, but in doing so he had tripped over the fabric hanging from his feet.

"You're such a dork," Gilbert said, laughing a bit nervously as the position they were in was a bit awkward. He was holding Matthew by the shoulders, looking at him eye to eye since they were the same height more or less. They stayed like that until someone came bursting through the door, yelling "Mattie! Bro!"

Alfred showed up at the door, holding some sort of beverage in his hand. "Oh, uh, am I interrupting something?" He asked, looking from Gilbert to the barely clothed Canadian. He sent a smug grin to Matthew, wiggling his eyebrows.

Kiku walked into the hospital room, taking in the sight. A light blush covered his cheeks, and he coughed a bit awkwardly.

"Get out! Get out! Get _out!_ " Matthew yelled, his face flushing in a deep red as he pushed them all out of the room. "I'm changing!" He tripped again as he closed the door, but caught himself by putting a hand on the wall. He began to wonder why he had gotten so embarrassed when his brother and Kiku came in, when he was able to change in front of Gilbert. Did that mean they were close enough as friends that he could change in front of him? No, that wasn't right. That wouldn't explain his heart was hammering in his chest when the Prussian was in there with him.

He quickly changed into the clothes Gilbert had brought for him, and opened the door a bit nervously. He found Alfred leaning in on Gilbert, asking him something a bit personal, Matthew guessed, because there was a dust of pink of his cheeks.

"H-Hey, what are you doing, Alfred? Leave him alone," He said defensively, and Alfred turned towards him and grinned as if he knew something. "Oh, and, how's Gilbird?"

Then suddenly chirping was heard, and a bird came out of Gilbert's breast pocket. It landed on Matthew's head, and at first he thought it would scratch at him again, but instead it did some sort of soft pecking motion in his hair. Matthew giggled a bit, and Gilbert found himself smiling.

"Well, what're we all waiting for? Let's go to Mcdonald's or something!" Alfred said, excited.

"Excuse me, unfortunately animals aren't allowed in this hospital. Please take it outside." A nurse said, noticing the bird on Matthew's head. Gilbird flew up and started to flock around the nurse, and she dropped her clipboard, trying to get the bird away from her. Gilbert and Alfred were laughing hysterically while Kiku was holding his head in embarrassment. Matthew was trying to help the poor nurse.

In the end, they were all kicked out of the hospital.

After grabbing his phone and getting washed up at his hotel room, Matthew was ready to head to the small diner with Gilbert, Alfred, and Kiku. That is, until his phone began to ring. He answered the phone, and in came the feminine, enthusiastic voice of Seychelles, "Hey! This is Matthew, right?"

"U-Uh, yes." Matthew said, surprised by the call. He guessed that Gilbert probably gave her his phone number when she came to return Gilbird.

"So, you're alright?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Oh, I'm so glad! I went looking for you but couldn't find you! I'm glad you're okay!"

Matthew hesitantly asked, "U-Uh, Alfred, Gilbert, Kiku and I are going to go to this diner right about now, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come…?"

"What? Right now?" She repeated. "Sorry, I've got a lot of things to do right now. Maybe next time!"

"I… It's fine." Matthew said, sighing inwardly. "Thanks for calling."

He hung up, and found himself kind of sad; he felt like he had just been rejected even though he didn't really ask her out, and she was really probably just busy.

"Aw, did you just get rejected?" Gilbert asked, coming from the bathroom snickering.

Matthew blushed, "You were eavesdropping, weren't you? Shut up!" He said in embarrassment, taking a pillow from his bed and throwing it at unsuspecting Gilbert. Gilbert laughed, and suddenly got hit in the face by the pillow. He purposely fell over, and pretended to be unconscious.

"Oh, maple! Gilbert!" Matthew yelled in concern, rushing over to the Prussian. He shook his shoulders repeatedly, "Ah! Are you okay?! Am I supposed to do CPR or something?!"

He was about to rush over to his nightstand to call for some help until he heard snickering behind him, and suddenly Gilbert took hold of Matthew and flipped him over, going on top of him. Matthew blushed a deep red, "You were lying! I seriously thought you were hurt or something!"

Gilbert grinned, and although he wanted to do more he got up and offered his hand to the angry Canadian. He refused to take it after being tricked, and instead pouted and crossed his arms.

"Hey, but… You don't really like that Seychelles chick, do you?" Gilbert asked suddenly, his voice softer than usual.

"N… No. I guess not," Matthew said. "It's just, after talking with you I kind of wanted to make more friends, you know? Before you, I only knew Alfred, and most of the time he pretends he can't see me…"

"Making friends is easy!" Gilbert said, putting an arm around Matthew's shoulders and laughing. "All you have to do is show everyone how awesome you are!"

"It's easy... for you… I mean, unlike me you are cool and lively." Matthew muttered, sighing and about to go into his closet to grab a sweater.

Gilbert felt his cheeks heat up a little at hearing what Matthew thought of him and said, "Well, what're you talking about? The awesome Prussia only hangs out with awesome people and countries, obviously!"

Matthew smiled, knowing that Gilbert was always trying to cheer him up. But he knew that Gilbert needed comforting too, after that day with the nightmares and the drinking. Lately, he had been acting as if that hadn't happened, and it worried Matthew.

"Thank you." Matthew said, continuing to smile. It put Gilbert into a daze, and quickly he shook his head and put on his shoes again. They walked out of the hotel, and Gilbert swung his keys around his finger while standing in front of a new car.

"What?! When did you get this?!" Matthew asked, staring at it in awe.

"Just yesterday," Gilbert said, loving the expression of awe on the Canadian's face. "It's awesome, right?"

He didn't mention that the reason he had gotten a new car in order was to get around more easily, and after that whole incident where he had to carry Matthew to the hospital in the rain he didn't want to take any more chances.

"But aren't you going back to Prussia? I mean, the world meeting is over. Why buy an American car you won't be able to bring back home?" Matthew asked, and the statement hurt Gilbert a bit. _Does he want me to go back?_ Gilbert thought.

"Well, I thought maybe I'd stick around and visit America, you know…" Gilbert answered, but in reality he found himself wanting to spend more time with the Canadian. He couldn't even admit that to himself, however.

"Oh! Can I visit with you?" Matthew asked, leaning in closer to Gilbert. "I mean, I've always walked around America's states and stuff, but Alfred is always busy and I have to visit alone… It'll be more fun with someone! And then maybe we can visit my country, and I can show you how to play hockey and make pancakes for you, and I'll properly introduce you to Kumajiro, and…"

He continued to rant on. Gilbert chuckled, and found himself shuffling Matthew's hair. He was about to tell him he was just so adorable, but quickly stopped himself and retreated his hand. He put his hand in front of his mouth out of embarrassment, and Matthew started at him in confusion. _He sure is acting weird lately,_ he thought.

But Gilbert knew why Matthew did these things to him. It's because, watching someone strive for friendships and rant about the things they love to you is truly beautiful, and lately he noticed that his smile was becoming brighter. Matthew was becoming closer to Gilbert, and showing him new aspects of his personality. The more he did so, the more he reeled him in.

"Well, sure! You're awesome enough to hang with me," Gilbert said, laughing a bit nervously. "Now, let's go."

 **A/N: I love Embarrassed!Prussia and Matchmaker!America. And Matchmaker!Seychelles will probably show up soon. If you enjoyed or want to leave constructive criticism, please leave a review! Thanks.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Gilbert drove, while Matthew was on the passenger's seat looking a bit flustered while putting his hands on his knees.

"What is it, Mattie?" Gilbert asked, snickering at how Matthew's face got a bit redder. "Relax, it's just a little get together, right?" He reassured.

"Yeah, but... I've never been to one like this... And it's really..."

"Scary? Exciting?" Gilbert finished his sentence. Matthew nodded. He put one arm over the Canadian's shoulders, causing him to tense.

"Don't worry about it. It'll be worth your time. Especially with the awesome me," He said. Matthew smiled and nodded, knowing that Gilbert was always trying to cheer him up.

"Thank you," He replied. As the car ride continued, it wasn't the same as the first time they had rode together when Gilbert was drunk. Instead, Matthew was talking about all sorts of things: about how he couldn't wait for winter so that he could go back to Canada and do all kinds of winter activities, like play hockey and go skiing.

Gilbert smiled and commented on these things, and for some reason the fact that Matthew shared all of these interests with him and became comfortable around him made him happy. When they first met, Matthew was quiet and shy, yet now they could talk without it being a one-sided conversation.

Before Matthew knew it, they had already arrived at the diner. They walked in, but as soon as Kiku and Alfred came into sight Matthew had gotten quiet again.

When they sat down at the table, Gilbert casually put an arm around him accidentally after a yawn. He noticed he had suddenly put an arm around the Canadian, but made no effort to remove it. Matthew was tense at first, but eventually he melted into the feeling.

"So? Are you guys together yet?" Alfred asked, and it took a moment before Matthew's face was flushed in red and he almost went over there and strangled his brother from the embarrassment. "Calm down, bro! Why do you care so much? I was kidding. If you didn't like him, you wouldn't have taken it so personally~"

Before Matthew could answer, their previously ordered food arrived.

"You don't have to worry about that, Matthew already has the hots for Seychelles." Gilbert stated bluntly, his tone a bit harsh as he began to eat his food.

Matthew blushed a bit, but he shook his head calmly, "That's not true. I don't like her that way."

"Then why are you blushing?" Alfred asked, grinning.

"Because you're embarrassing me in front of–" He was about to say Gilbert, but instead coughed a bit awkwardly and shook his head. "If Arthur were here, he'd be telling you to shut up and eat, brother."

"That makes your relationship with him sound like father and child." Gilbert commented, grinning as the American began to protest.

"It's not like that anymore!" He yelled, face heating up in anger and embarrassment, startling everyone around the table. He coughed, and quickly laughed and slurped his coke, "I'm not a child anymore! I'm a hero!"

However, it was only a vain attempt to hide his earlier outrage. No one questioned it, and instead they began to eat.

"So, bro, you sure you're okay?" Alfred asked, raising an eyebrow. He was genuinely concerned, because as far as he knew Matthew had collapsed due to staying outside in the rain for too long, but he wasn't sure of the reason why.

Matthew nodded, "Don't worry about me. I'm okay now."

"Why were you out there so long?" Alfred asked, taking a bite of his hamburger.

Matthew didn't want him to hate Gilbert for something like this, but he said the truth nevertheless, just not all of it, "I was taking care of a bird temporarily, and it flew off so I went looking for it. I guess I lost track of time, eh?"

Alfred narrowed his eyes at the bird on Prussia's head.

Instead of showing that he thought there was a connection between Gilbird and the bird Matthew was talking about, he laughed and said, "You sure are silly, bro. You need a hero like me at all times, don't you?"

Matthew smiled softly, but he couldn't help but think that even though Alfred said so, he wouldn't be accompanying him for long, whether he was the only country Matthew made relations with or not. The thought saddened him a bit, but he didn't say anything.

"Man, I really have to go to the bathroom. Come with me, Gilbert," Alfred said, a huge grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around Gilbert and practically dragged him to the restroom.

Matthew arched an eyebrow at the pair, muttering, "What was that about?"

"I have no idea." Kiku commented, startling Matthew since he wasn't expecting an answer from the quiet man. Plus, they had never really talked before. "Excuse me, but… Alfred-san's birthday is coming up soon. D-Do you know of anything he might like?"

The question hit Matthew by surprise. The dust of red on Kiku's cheeks implied it was embarrassing for him to ask about it. "Uh, well, you know how much he likes burgers, so you could take him to a diner of some sort. Maybe you can throw him a party, or go to some kind of entertainment park," He suggested thoughtfully.

But in all honesty, he started to think about what he wanted for his _own_ birthday, which was a few days before Alfred's. No one ever remembers, and he wasn't one to push into everyone's faces that it was his birthday, or even tell them when his birthday was. So in the end, each year he would buy himself a pair of pancakes and place a lit candle on top, and in a dimly lit room he would wish his brother or anyone came to support him. The loneliness of it all would devour him, and he would find himself crying on his birthday each year. He figured this year would be the same.

Matthew sighed to himself, pushing away his thoughts and returning to reality. Kiku was nodding, making a mental note to himself of all the things the Canadian had told him. "H-How about lunch and a water park?" He asked. "Maybe I could make him some onigiri as well."

Matthew smiled; Although it wasn't too obvious, his brother was always overjoyed whenever Kiku made or bought him something, or initiated conversation. He remembered how he would go on and on about how awesome he thought Kiku was, how he hoped to "chill" with him sometime soon.

"Alfred has been talking about wanting to go to a waterpark, after all… Maybe you and Mr. Prussia can come as well?" Kiku thought aloud.

Matthew nodded, continuing to eat his food. He couldn't help but wonder what had come up with Alfred and Gilbert. He knew it wasn't like his brother to take an acquaintance to the restroom like that – a lame excuse to go and talk to him privately. He could only hope that Alfred wouldn't reprimand him on the whole bird incident. It wasn't his fault, after all.

Alfred pushed Gilbert onto the wall, leaning in dangerously close as he gritted his teeth and breathed loudly, "Please tell me that fucking bird of yours had nothing to do with Matthew getting hurt. Because I swear to God, I will never let you near him again if you hurt him."

Gilbert pushed him off of him, "Says the hypocrite who constantly leaves him behind and hurts him _a_ _lot_ more than he realizes. I'm not apologizing for that bird incident; it wasn't my fault."

However, Gilbert _did_ think it was his fault, every last bit of it, but he wouldn't show weakness to the American. How Matthew was able to get him to show every one of his weaknesses and emotions, he didn't know. All he knew was that he wouldn't let his guard down for some hypocrite of an American.

"I realize that, and I'm working on becoming a better brother for him. But _you_. You can't even admit to yourself that it was your fault, because you're the _oh-so-great_ -Prussia who could never do anything wrong, isn't that right?" Alfred said, sarcasm seeping from his tone. "I know that you're planning on taking over my brother, but you'll have to get through _me_ first."

Gilbert had enough of his nonsense. "You think that everything revolves around you, don't you? You don't give two shits about Matthew until someone else starts making relations with him. You think you're so great since Matthew trusts you and _only_ you. You need to get your shit together, Alfred, because you can't go around caring about someone only when it's convenient for yourself." Gilbert said, glaring at the American. "Also… You don't know anything about me, Alfred; that's a _fact_."

He scoffed and turned around, heading back for the table, "And just for the record, there is no way I'm staying away from someone as awesome as Matthew."

The comment infuriated Alfred, "Don't think you can do as you please with him!"

Gilbert just grinned and said, "Watch me."

He returned to the table, as did Alfred, and after continuing to talk as if nothing happened and saying their goodbyes, Gilbert and Canada found themselves in the car again.

"Gilbert, did Alfred say anything to you?" Matthew asked as Gilbert started the car. His hold on the car wheel noticeably tightened, but he let go.

"Not really." Gilbert said, and he started the car and began heading for his apartment.

Matthew sighed at the short response. Gilbert always kept things from him. He knew that they had only just started off as barely friends, but he couldn't help but feel as if he wasn't good enough for him. He wanted to get close enough to him to get him to tell him what was going on, like why he was coughing up blood that day, or why he was having those nightmares. Although he tried to hide it, Matthew knew something was wrong.

"Why are we going to your apartment?" Matthew asked, changing the subject and genuinely confused.

"Don't get your mind in the gutter, Mattie." Gilbert responded, winking at him quickly before putting his eyes back on the road. Matthew felt his cheeks heat up, and as much as he hated to admit it he knew he always acted differently around the Prussian, but never put much thought into it.

"Alright, well, apparently West is going to visit Feliciano in his country so he's leaving the hotel room. But he was the one paying for it, and I don't have any American money so, I've decided to stay at your place." Gilbert explained, turning a corner.

"What? With me?" Matthew asked, a bit surprised.

"Well, you did say you wanted to tour America with me, didn't you? It'd be a drag to have to pick you up each and every time, ya know?" Gilbert tried to justify his desire, but in reality he just subconsciously wanted to spend more time with the Canadian.

Matthew nodded, "Well I do have this apartment I bought long ago in order to use it whenever I came to visit Alfred."

"Why don't you use it?"

"Well, the last time I was there I sort of put the kitchen on fire by mistake making breakfast for myself… It was one of the first times making that dish and I guess I followed one of the directions wrong. I know that the place is basically mine now and I shouldn't worry over that but the smoke alarm went off and woke everyone on the same floor as me up since it was early morning, and that was the first time they noticed me, and I think those people hate me now…" Matthew explained, almost drowning the car in gloominess.

"Huh…" Gilbert said. He put a free arm around Matthew, something he did quite often now. "Don't worry about it, I'll beat up anyone who even looks at you wrong."

Matthew shook his head quickly, a bit flustered that someone had offered to protect him, "N-No, it's fine. It's better to be hurt than to hurt others… I don't really mind…"

However, he knew that whenever someone hurt him, he _did_ mind. He minded _a lot_. It was one of the reasons he found himself pitiful. But in order to keep the image of a peaceful and selfless country, he pretended being hurt like that didn't faze him. None of that mattered, though, because Gilbert saw right through him.

"Don't give me that nonsense. 'Course you mind." Gilbert said, his tone a bit stern. "I'll give those losers a piece of my awesome mind for you."

Those words made Matthew so, so happy, happier than he'd like to admit, even though he didn't want any violence.

After Gilbert got his luggage in the trunk, they proceeded back to Matthew's small hotel room to pick up his things.

"You really don't clean your rom, huh?" Gilbert commented, snickering at the embarrassed expression he got from Matthew.

"It's not that! I just… haven't had the time. Been chasing around birds and hanging with a dork lately." Matthew joked, earning a grin from the Prussian. "And, hey! The first time you came over here to pick me up for that stupid party, you said your room was like this, too!"

Gilbert arched an eyebrow, trying to remember what he was referring to, and then remembered. It was when he had invited him to the bar with Francis and Antonio and found him sleeping when he had come to pick him up at around ten in the evening.

"People change," Gilbert said jokingly, chuckling. To be completely honest, Gilbert's room was anything but messy. He was a clean freak, after all, despite his arrogant and egoistic nature. He had only said that to Matthew to cheer him up, since that day he had been on the verge of tears at the embarrassment of the mess being seen by Gilbert.

"A-And, truth to be told, my room was only a mess that day because I was nervous of what to wear to that get-together thing… S-So in the end, all my clothes were everywhere…" Matthew said, regretting telling him that shortly thereafter.

"I always have that effect on people," Gilbert said, an arrogant laugh following thereafter.

Matthew's cheeks darkened, throwing a pillow at Gilbert as he said, "I'm never telling you anything like that ever again!"

The comment worried Gilbert a bit, but when he turned around to see the expression on Matthew's face, he found him with a smile on his face. _He was only joking. Thank God_ , Gilbert thought to himself.

"Alright, let's go," He said, taking hold of the luggage for Matthew and carrying it to the car. When they arrived at the apartment, they carried their luggage into the apartment. It was pretty average, with one room, a kitchen, and a bathroom.

Matthew continued to zoom past the hallway and into the apartment quickly whenever he went back to the car to get something, and Gilbert realized it was to avoid seeing any of the neighbors again. After they settled down, and finally set everything into place and lay on the bed exhausted, Gilbert decided to ask.

"How long ago was the last time you came here?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at the nervous Canadian.

"When I was barely 75." Matthew said, thinking back.

"How old are you now?"

"I'm about to turn 148 soon." Matthew replied.

"Mattie, that's a pretty long time. I doubt anyone remembers you had lived here," Gilbert said seriously, trying to assure him. Matthew shrugged, still a bit paranoid. "And what was that? It's your birthday soon?"

Matthew's cheeks heated up, and he said, "I-It's not important."

But his averting eyes said the exact opposite. They were almost screaming, _Please_. _Please remember. Please celebrate it with me._

However, he thought that to be selfish of him, to want someone, _anyone_ , to be with him during his birthday, to celebrate it with him, to tell him happy birthday and give him a gift, anything, even a hug, or maybe even a gift. He thought it was a fantasy out of his reach.

"'Course it is! Who would want to be alone on their birthday?" Gilbert asked rhetorically, though he sounded a bit pained at the mention of being alone. "When is it?"

"N-Next week. Wednesday." Matthew muttered, almost unable to keep his happiness that someone had actually asked him for his birthday. "W-Will you come and celebrate it with me?"

The glimmer and happiness in his eyes made Gilbert unable to say no, although there was no way he would have rejected him from the start. Matthew looked so happy, so excited. "Celebrate it with you? Do you have a party every year, then?"

That question brought back the lonely memories, and Gilbert noticed how Matthew's eyes had gotten so sad so quickly, "Well…"

"…I do have a party every year. I invite Alfred and Kumajirou, but Alfred always forgets and Kumajirou runs off somewhere. And, in the end…" Matthew trailed off, not wanting to spell out that he was a pitiful loser every year. Tears started welling up in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away and smiled sadly, "I-It's not that big of a deal. Who would want to waste a day away with someone like me, right?"

"The awesome me, that's who!" Gilbert said, a grin planted on his face. In all honesty, he felt pained to hear Matthew say that. If there was one thing he hated, it was being alone. Being betrayed, ignored. After Elizabeta had left him behind, he never could bring himself to forgive her. He developed the fear of betrayal, abandonment, trust issues… Yet he knew that this right now wasn't about him, it was about Matthew. "Don't worry about Alfred. He doesn't know what he's missing! I'm sure he'll show up this year. Be positive that the awesome me will, too."

Matthew felt tears of happiness welling up in his eyes, but he shook them away again and instead found himself hugging Gilbert, "T-Thank you so much." He whispered, and he didn't realize that Gilbert's face had reddened at the sudden contact. Gilbert had done so much for him for no apparent reason, had been there for him and talked to him when no one else would. And for that, he was so thankful and grateful. He was almost about to choke out the words _I love you for all of that_ , but as of yet, he knew Gilbert didn't feel the same way, because he thought he had done nothing for him.

If only Matthew could see how much Gilbert was smiling at seeing him happy for once.

 **A/N: I love Overprotective!America! Ah, well, finally someone is noticing Canada. What a shame it would be, should that happiness disappear somehow... And, just for the record, it just happens that yesterday was Canada's birthday! Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The sun shone through the window, and as Gilbert got up, scratching his head, he realized Matthew wasn't on the bed with him. They were used to sleeping on the same bed, since they had done so, what, two or three times already? Whatever the case, Gilbert couldn't help but be a little worried until he smelled the faint aroma of pancakes coming from the kitchen. He brushed his teeth and washed his face, and after looking at the clock which read 11:34 A.M, he rushed to the kitchen.

Matthew was humming a tune to himself, wearing an apron and flipping pancakes on the stove. He gasped in complete surprise when Gilbert came up behind him and whispered "Boo" in his ear. In his astonishment, he had dropped the pan and lost balance. Gilbert, however, had good enough reflexes to grab hold of the pan and wrap an arm around Matthew's waist, keeping him in place before he fell to the floor. He grinned down at him, their noses almost brushing from how close he was to him. Matthew blushed and looked away, getting out of Gilbert's hold and beginning to make the pancakes again.

"Next time, a simple "Good Morning" would be nice." Matthew said, pouting as he continued to make the pancakes. However, his heart was hammering in his heart restlessly, and his hands were shaking while holding the pan. He only hoped the Prussian didn't notice how flustered he was at such a simple action.

However, Gilbert was still snickering behind him, at how he had jumped and yelped like a child. He assumed he was probably so into the tune or lost in thought, but when Matthew still didn't look back at him and didn't say anything after a few minutes he sighed and asked, "Alright, what, does the awesome me need to apologize now?"

"N… No." Matthew said sternly, frowning.

Gilbert stared at his pouting expression, and for some reason found himself thinking, "How cute," He quickly shook his thoughts away, a bit embarrassed at thinking that.

Then a soft giggle brought him out of his thoughts, "D-Don't worry about it." Matthew placed two pancakes in each of two separate plates. "And, plus, your strained thinking face doesn't really suit you."

The statement surprised Gilbert, since all along he thought he was a soft-spoken nation who wouldn't speak his mind. He was glad that he was finally becoming comfortable with him. "Hey! I'll get you for that!" He said, frowning although he felt like laughing.

"Oh, that right? How? You're not going to declare _war_ on me, are you?" Matthew asked, and when he turned around he had the most confident, fierce expression on his face Gilbert had ever seen. And then he remembered. How, when he was training Alfred, the American had told him the story of how Matthew was able to utterly _destroy_ him and defeat him so easily because of his fury.

"He may seem like a pushover who can't defend himself, but he only _lets_ himself get pushed around. When push comes to shove, he will _end_ you." He remembered Alfred saying. He didn't remember why Matthew had come into the conversation, but all he knew was that he really didn't want to get on his bad side either. He knew his economy and government was falling apart, and his people were starting to rebel, and everything was just going terribly, and if someone declared war on him he wouldn't be able to stand his ground. But the only person who knew that was Ludwig, and he wasn't planning on letting Matthew know that.

"You think you can take me on, Mattie?" Gilbert asked, arching an eyebrow with an arrogant smirk.

Matthew raised the mixing whisk he was holding with his hand and said, "Try me."

Gilbert grinned and lunged at him, taking him down on the floor. "I wonder…" He reached his hands down right above the Matthew's stomach, and his eyes widened.

"No," Matthew muttered.

" _Yes_ ," Gilbert said, grinning as he started to tickle the sensitive Canadian. He squirmed and laughed, playfully yelling out, "Stop!" to him.

"Do you claim defeat?" Gilbert asked, continuing to tickle him.

"Y-Ye –"

However, right when he stopped tickling him, Matthew took the chance and flipped him over, grinning childishly. "I win against powerful Prussia!"

Gilbert wasn't one to let himself be defeated, even in a childish game like this one, but seeing the huge grin on Matthew's face made him think otherwise. He grinned and said, "All right, all right, I give up! You win!"

He found himself wanting to put his hand on Matthew's cheek, to wrap his arms around him and get closer to him. He was no idiot. He knew that he did things differently whenever he was around him, like how he found himself staring whenever he smiled, how seeing him happy made him happy, how he wanted to become closer to him and spend time with him. It wasn't often that Gilbert found himself liking a guy, since usually he would have his eyes on someone like Elizabeta, but when he did, he didn't take it lightly. The problem was, he wasn't one to take action first most of the time.

And when the phone rang, he realized they had been staring at each other in that position for quite a while, and it became somewhat awkward when they realized it. Matthew was the first to get up, and he scratched his head awkwardly before going for the phone. His heart was hammering in his chest, similar to when he had sat next to him during that world meeting, and when Gilbert had leaned in for a kiss when he was drunk, and when they slept on the same bed for the second time. The butterflies in his stomach just wouldn't go away. And Matthew, oh Matthew, it wasn't often that he began liking _any_ body. He would keep to himself, never say anything out of turn, never bring attention to himself. He would only observe. And to be perfectly honest, the only person he ever really thought he liked before he met Gilbert was Seychelles, because he admired her cheerfulness and generosity, how she wasn't arrogant or too full of herself.

But when he was around her he only found himself nervous out of not wanting to say the wrong thing. He wondered if he just looked up to her, or if he just wanted to be her friend. And if he thought about it, he didn't really have any friends either up until a while ago. What was the difference between wanting to become friends with someone, and wanting to become something more with someone? Did he only want to become friends with Seychelles? Was that it? Did he want to have someone to be able to talk to on a slow Sunday afternoon and not have a definite reason to? And, the question he had been trying to avoid all along, what kind of relationship did he want to have with Gilbert? Why does he feel so secure and comfortable around him one moment, and the next an emotional wreck filled with heart pounding and cherry red cheeks? Did that mean he just wanted to become just friends with him, too? Or perhaps something _more_?

"Awesome Prussia speaking," Gilbert said, pulling Matthew out of his deep thoughts. He realized he had been thinking for much too long, and he was a bit embarrassed.

"It's for you." Gilbert said, handing the phone to him. Matthew raised a questioning eyebrow. "It's Seychelles." Gilbert informed, his tone a bit harsh and his expression too serious. _Does he not like Michelle?_ Matthew thought.

"U-Uh, Michelle?" He asked, stuttering a bit out of nervousness. Gilbert narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning on the wall. He wondered why he was acting this way; he didn't have anything against Seychelles… right? But when he thought about it, his feelings of resentment towards her started when she had come over to the hotel room and said she had spent the day looking for Gilbird with Matthew. He had remembered how _he_ wanted to be the one with Matthew that day, not _her_. And the thought that Seychelles had helped him while he had only caused trouble for him really made something in his blood boil. And these feelings of resentment continued when he had overheard him talking to her on the phone in the hotel, how he sounded nervous and wanted her to come with them to the diner. It almost sounded like he was asking her out. Thinking that, he had almost punched a hole in the wall. However, he _did_ say he didn't like her that way when he brought her up in the diner.

"Yes, this is Matthew." He said. "What? In two days? Yeah! Y-Yeah, of course."

He reached for a pen on the pen holder nearby and wrote something down on a napkin. "Alright. I'll see you there, then."

Matthew placed the phone on the counter, and when he turned around he had the happiest expression on his face. "Gil, can we go to Seychelles tomorrow?"

"What? Why?"

"Her birthday is on Monday, June 29." Matthew explained. "She said she could reserve some seats for us on the airplane if we're up for it. And while over there she wants to show us some stuff! No one's ever invited me to something like this, so can we please go? The both of us!"

Gilbert decided to swallow his silly resentment towards Seychelles when he saw Matthew's pleading, cute expression, and sighed, "Yeah, sure. We _are_ coming back for your birthday, though, right?"

His grin widened, if that's even possible. "We can come back on Tuesday."

Gilbert nodded, "Then it's a plan, I guess."

Matthew let out a squeal, and hugged him, almost knocking him over.

"Gil! Gil, wake up!" Matthew yelled, shaking his shoulders. The sun wasn't even up yet, so the room remained dark.

"W-What?" Gilbert asked grumpily, putting a pillow over his head. Matthew took the pillow and placed it behind him, and got up and turned on the light, blinding him briefly. "Mattie, it's three in the morning."

"Exactly! Our flight is at four thirty! It takes thirty minutes to get to the airport! Come on, get up!" Matthew explained, nearly dragging the Prussian out of bed.

"How the hell are you so upbeat right now? You barely got five hours of sleep, didn't you?" He asked, and Matthew shrugged. Gilbert figured it was just the excitement for the upcoming day, and also the fact he was a huge morning person. Gilbert, on the other hand, was a night owl. He had completely ruined his sleeping schedule to spend more time with him.

"We have half an hour to get ready." Matthew said, grabbing some clothes from the closet and stepping over the two suitcases they had packed the day prior. "I've already made you a bowl of cereal, so all we need to do is take a shower."

"No, no, no we don't!" Gilbert said suddenly, his cheeks heating up. Matthew raised an eyebrow, confused as to why the sudden outbreak. "I-I mean, yeah, we should. But there's not enough time for the both of us, so I'll just take one at the hotel…"

There was a reason why it was getting easier for him to avoid the nightmares. Either that, or choke back his screams when he awoke from one. One reason was because now he had someone to actually dream about. His unconscious mind continued to drift to Matthew, and just now he had had a not-so-appropriate dream. He faintly remembered the water running from the shower, their bodies close together, his soaked hair sticking to his forehead, the pleasure running through his body. Just thinking back to it made his face red from embarrassment and shame, because the only other person he had had that kind of dream about was Elizabeta, and that was so long ago, when he was a tiny little growing nation and no more than a child.

"Right… Well, then, I'm going to take a quick shower and you can go ahead and eat." Matthew said, taking a towel from its hanger and stepping into the bathroom, closing the door and starting the shower.

Gilbert got up from the bed, and became immediately aware of the aftermath of that dream, both on him and on the bed. He cursed to himself at having that kind of dream featuring such an innocent, pure nation like Canada. He shook his head, and instead pulled the covers off of the bed and folded it, deciding to put it in the washing machine after getting changed. He removed his clothing and changed into another outfit, and placed the covers and his clothing into the washing machine. He went to the kitchen and found the bowl of cereal and milk Matthew had prepared for him and began to eat it. His phone beeped, and he realized Ludwig was calling him. The time at Italy was different, after all, and if you do the math it was around nine in the morning over there. Gilbert answered the phone.

"Yeah, what's up, West?" He asked, eating a spoonful of cereal.

"Whoa, what's up with you? You sound drained." Ludwig said. He heard a faint "Ve~ Ve~ Who're you talking to, Ludwig~" in the background.

"Yeah, well, it's three in the morning in America." Gilbert said, sighing as he scratched his head.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Ludwig asked. "Or… you're not drunk, are you?"

"No, West, I don't do that that often anymore." He replied. He barely ever let himself get drunk like those days, even though he still hurt everywhere with his whole country falling apart. He didn't let himself scream when he woke from nightmares, nor did he stay up too late. And it was all for Matthew. "I'm hitching a ride to Seychelles with Canada. Then I'll be back to America on Tuesday."

"You're still hanging out with _Canada_?" Ludwig asked, sounding surprised.

"You're still hanging out with Ita-chan~?" Gilbert retorted, and he could almost see Ludwig blushing.

"Yeah, well, just be careful. I'll try to come up with a way to save your government from becoming more corrupted than it already is." Ludwig said, sighing.

After Gilbert didn't answer for a while, he asked, "Brother?"

"… What's the point?" Gilbert choked out, and quickly he hung up and buried his head in his arms. He felt hot tears begin to well in his eyes at the mere remembrance that he _knew_ it was inevitable. There was no saving him now.

"Hey? Gil?" Matthew asked, his tone a bit concerned as he walked into the dining room and had overheard.

Gilbert feigned a yawn and brought his head up from his arms, "Yeah, what is it? Sorry, I'm just pretty sleepy."

He rose from his seat and placed the bowl on the sink, starting to wash it. He had barely eaten three spoonfuls, but he had lost his appetite.

"Well, okay, but what happened to the covers?" Matthew asked, and Gilbert tensed.

"U-Uh, well, I put my clothes to wash so I thought, y-you know, why not…" He trailed off, not saying the full truth out of embarrassment.

"Alright… Well, then if you're finished eating, we should get going." Matthew said, going back to the room to get one of the suitcases.

Gilbert let out a sigh of relief, grateful that he didn't push the subject further. He went to the bathroom and washed his face before brushing his teeth, and got his own suitcase. Once both of the suitcases were in the trunk of his car, he went in the driver's seat while Matthew went in the passenger's one.

"Gil? You sure you don't want me to drive? You _did_ say you were sleepy, you know." Matthew said, concerned.

"No, I'll be fine. It's you who should be sleepy, I bet you couldn't even get any sleep from how excited you are." He guessed, and from Matthew's red cheeks he knew he was right.

After just a little while, he could hear Matthew's breathing start to become steady, and when he looked over his eyes were closed and he was leaning against the car door for comfort. Gilbert put his hand on his head and adjusted it on his own shoulder, so that Matthew was sleeping on him and not on the hard door. He smiled, and continued driving.

"Mattie, wake up." Gilbert said, shaking his shoulders. He opened his eyes faintly, and suddenly asked, "Are we there yet?"

Gilbert chuckled, "We're not even in the airplane yet, dummy. Come on, get up." He helped him up, and they checked in and got their bags checked. Once they were on the airplane preparing for takeoff, with Matthew on the window seat and Gilbert on the other, Gilbert was beginning to shiver.

"What is it? Is it too cold? I can turn off the air on top, if you want." Matthew said, about to reach for the air panels. However, Gilbert took hold of his hand.

"N… No. I just, uh…" He stammered, putting his hand over his mouth in embarrassment. "It's nothing, forget it."

"Gil, you're not scared of flying, are you?" Matthew asked, his tone soft.

"N-No, of course n-not… What gave you that idea…?" He stammered, and when the airplane began to go on the runaway he began to start breathing quickly.

"But, Gil, don't you have to fly to and from Prussia for World Meetings? Shouldn't you be over this kind of fear?" Matthew asked, but when Gilbert continued to shiver he knew he was serious.

"Alright, alright, well, why don't you just calm down?" Matthew soothed, trying to help.

"Why don't you just shut up?" Gilbert snapped unintentionally, but when he saw Matthew's surprised expression he quickly apologized. Flight really put him on edge.

When the airplane took off, he held Matthew's hand so tight that Matthew thought he almost broke it.

Matthew, however, squeezed his hand and said, "It'll be okay."

It was true that Gilbert always had a natural phobia of flying, though it was nothing serious and it was anything but evident when he flew, but that fear had grown ever since his nightmares of dying had started. One way or another, he had always died in his dreams. And, of course, there just had to be one where he was in an airplane, and the plane crashed, except in his dream the plane represented his economy, government, and society. And since then, things like this struck him with fear.

He shook his thoughts away, and instead tried to relax and calm his nerves. "So, uh, how long is this plane ride?"

"18 hours…" Matthew replied, and Gilbert sighed.

Sooner or later, they had both fallen asleep; Matthew was still holding his hand, and he was leaning on Gilbert's shoulder while Gilbert was leaning on Matthew's head.

Matthew was the first to wake up, and seeing the position he was in he couldn't help but blush. He looked at the time on his phone and realized it was nearing ten in the morning. He was still somewhat tired but he couldn't help being a morning person. He turned on the television on the back of the chair in front of him and changed the channel to one where they were giving Canadian hockey. Gilbert's hand found Matthew's again, even while he was sleeping, and Matthew wasn't one to pull away. Even as he was blushing, he intertwined his hand with Gilbert's and continued watching.

"And can I get anything for you two lovebirds?" A female Flight Attendant asked, bringing forward a cart full of all kinds of snacks and drinks.

"Oh, no – We're not – You see –" Matthew stammered, flustered. He sighed, dismissing it. "Do you have coffee?"

"Indeed I do," The lady poured him a cup of coffee and handed him small bags of sugar along with other essentials and continued on her way.

He couldn't help but continue to blush even after a little while; _Why did she have to refer to us that way? We're friends, nothing more… Right?_

And finally, he was able to shake those thoughts away and continue watching Canadian hockey. He hoped to one day bring Gilbert with him to his country whenever it was snowing, so he could show him how to play hockey and go skiing with him.

"Mattie?" Gilbert asked from beside him, and he took away his hand from his and stretched his arms, yawning. Matthew was a bit saddened at the lack of contact. "Are we there? How much longer till we are?"

"It's noon, so about ten hours." Matthew answered. "It'll be six in the morning in Seychelles when we get there, but American time zone speaking probably nine or ten in the evening."

Gilbert sighed, "That's just great."

He realized there was a television in front of him, but looked over at what Matthew was watching. He saw people playing hockey. "I've never played hockey before. Is it that interesting?"

Matthew's eyes began to shine like several times before, and very excitedly he began explaining the basics of hockey and how to play, "I want to take you to my country one day, when it's snowing! Then we could play together! Oh, won't that be nice?"

Gilbert grinned, though still a bit saddened, "Yeah, of course. If we have enough time."

"Enough time? What do you mean?"

Gilbert shook his head, dismissing the topic. But he could almost hear his clock ticking away inside his head, ticking and tocking until it eventually comes to a halt–and when it stops, so will he.

It was an understatement to say he was terrified.

 **A/N: You have no idea how much I want to draw that scene where Prussia scares Canada while he was cooking and catches him by the waist with one hand and the pan with the pancake on the other. It would be so cute! Thanks for reading, and please leave a review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Matthew! Gilbert!" Michelle yelled cheerfully, running up to the two boys who were carrying two suitcases and looking around with a confused expression.

They had arrived to the beautiful country Seychelles just minutes prior, and the sun was shining brightly onto the large terrain and the birds were chirping seemingly happily.

"You two made it!" She chirped, smiling sheepishly as she hugged them both at the same time. Matthew returned the hug gracefully, though Gilbert patted her back a bit awkwardly.

Matthew was awed by her beauty; her tawny beige natural skin contrasted with her azure A-line dress that almost reached her knees and had alabaster flowers scattered around the outer bottom, and when she looked at them there was an excited sparkle in her blue eyes. Her auburn hair was tied into pigtails with two bright red ribbons.

"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world," He said, returning the smile.

"You two can stay with Juliet and I at my place, but there isn't much room," She explained, smiling apologetically. She lived in a small cabin to be near the beaches and parks, after all, and with Monaco also visiting there just wasn't enough space. "You can stay at a hotel near there, though, it's called Roseshore Hotel. It's near Silhouette Island, which has a really great beach we can all visit for the day!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Matthew said, the eagerness evident in his voice.

Once at the hotel, he decides to bring up what he had been wondering, "You've been pretty quiet, Gilbert. Is something wrong?"

"No." He answered, and he knew he was just being stubborn. He knew he had developed somewhat of a thing for the Canadian, and that because of that he was prone to jealousy. But he decided to put that aside, I'm way more awesome than that Seychelles girl, right? But the more he repeated that statement in his head, the more he doubted himself. "Let's just get what we need for the beach and then we can be on our way."

Once they arrived at Silhouette Island, they met up with Michelle and Juliet. All four of them were wearing their bathing suits – Gilbert wore an alabaster swimming trunk that reached his knees without a shirt, and Matthew wore one similar, except it was a pastel orange color, and he wore a blank t-shirt. The girls both wore beautiful bathing suits, Michelle wearing a baby blue bikini and Monaco wearing a red and white polka-dot one piece.

"Well, I never really said it but, happy birthday!" Matthew squeaked, beaming as he handed her a bright, amethyst iris he had picked along the way. Gilbert sent him a questioning glance, though Matthew wasn't sure what he was questioning exactly.

"Oh, thank you!" Michelle said, placing the flower on her ear.

Gilbert smiled slightly and also wished her a happy birthday, though it didn't sound too heartfelt to Matthew. It sounded almost forced to him, but nevertheless Michelle didn't mind as she had hugged him anyway.

"Well, uh, I can setup a few chairs, umbrellas, and blankets so we can relax at the beach for a while, before we go to Morne Seychellois National Park." Michelle volunteered, about to head towards the blistering sand.

"Ah, yes, and Prussia and I can go ahead and get the drinks and snacks." Juliet offered, though she quickly took Gilbert's hand and lead him toward the stand not too far away.

"What, are you into me or something? Sorry, I know how hard it is to resist this awesomeness, but I already have eyes for someone else, Monaco." Gilbert boasted, holding back his hair as if to emphasize. Although this action and statement was only to keep his reputation, he still couldn't help but feel a bit… disgusted with himself. He was falling apart gradually yet he still had the nerve to act like such an egoistic person.

"No, of course I don't. Why would I fall for such an abomination?" Juliet spat bluntly, shaking her head. That statement hurt him, but he decided to just shake the emotion away.

"Well, awesome me doesn't like you, anyway." Gilbert muttered, not wanting his emotions to show. He was about to walk away until Juliet took hold of his wrist again.

"Listen, I hate being alone with you as much as you do with me, but I think Michelle and Canada have a thing going on. I see a spark." Monaco said, nodding to herself after letting go of his wrist.

"What?" Gilbert choked out, feeling some indescribable feeling well up inside him. He knew what she was saying, but he just didn't want to believe it.

"I'm matching them up," Juliet said, pushing up her glasses. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"No, you can't do that!" Gilbert blurted out all of a sudden.

"What? Why not?"

"Because I say so! You just… you can't!" Gilbert bawled, furrowing his brows and clenching his fist as he almost hissed at the blonde.

Juliet glared at him and raged, "I don't have to take orders from anyone, and especially not from you. Unless you give me a valid reason, I see no reason not to match them up. They're perfect together, don't you see? They're both kind and passionate, and if they got together it would be perfect."

"But…" Gilbert trailed off, as he began seeing some kind of reasoning in what she saying. He gained his composure again and said, "I won't believe anything until I see it."

By this point, he knew. He knew how he felt about Matthew. There was no going back.

But when he went towards Matthew and Michelle carrying two drinks, who were setting up the umbrella, he began to see what Monaco was saying. Even appearance-wise, they looked great together. He tried to contradict those thoughts, tried to tell himself that his awesome self could take Matthew's heart no problem. But then Michelle tripped on the umbrella pole wedged on the ground and fell on Matthew, and they stayed in that position staring into each other's eyes, and Prussia lost it. He felt a lump in his throat, and his knees begin to wobble, and he found himself turning around, and with his wobbly hands he set down the two drinks he was holding on the table they had set up and he walked away. He wasn't one to make a scene, so before he left he muttered something about having to use the bathroom to Juliet.

She stared as he walked away, confused as to why he was acting kind of strangely after the scene unfolding before them. But when she looked back at Matthew and Michelle, she saw Matthew awkwardly scratching his head and apologizing to Michelle.

He cleared his throat, "Uh, Monaco, where's Gil?"

"He said he needed to use the lavatory." Juliet said, shrugging.

Matthew thought that was a bit weird for several reasons – one, he had used the restroom before they came to the beach, and second he wasn't one to just bail out on events firsthand. However, maybe he really did just have to use the bathroom, so he decided to let it go.

He sat down on the lounge chair with Michelle and Juliet and let the sun hit his skin. He couldn't deny that it felt relaxing as he took small sips of his Afterglow tropical drink.

"So, Matthew, have you made any moves on Gilbert yet?" Michelle cooed, laughing as he spit his drink out and almost choked.

"What?!" Juliet yelled, astonished completely.

"No, no, of course not! I-It's not like that!" Matthew stammered, a slight dust of pink appearing on his face as he shifted his weight from side to side.

"It's so nice to see love blooming in the comfort of my own country!" Michelle purred, holding her hands together as she fawned over the "blooming love".

"Michelle, what could you possibly mean by that? You don't mean –" Juliet said, wide eyed as she stared at Matthew and thought back to the Prussian's weird behavior. She then completely understood why he was acting that way, and she mentally slapped herself.

"Oh, yes." Michelle said a bit teasingly, looking at Matthew once again to see him scratching his head and avoiding direct eye contact.

He stood up, shifting his weight again, and said, "Gil's been gone for a while now, I think I'll go check on him."

Yes, he was indeed worried, but it was also a great excuse to get out of that embarrassing confrontation. He knew he felt a bit different around the Prussian than with other people, but did that necessarily mean he liked him? What was the definition of "liking" someone?

"Juliet, why do you look so nervous too?" Michelle asked, seeing as Monaco was avoiding eye contact.

"I maybe, sort of, told Prussia that you and Canada liked each other, and, uh…" Juliet trailed off, ashamed at her false accusation.

"Of course that's not the case!" Michelle cried, pinching the bridge of her nose and sighing before smiling softly. "Oh well, I'm sure nothing can stop them. And besides, I've got my eyes set for someone else."

Michelle winked playfully, and Juliet pouted and crossed her arms.

* * *

Matthew had looked in the boys' restroom and hadn't found Gilbert, so he began to panic a bit. _Why would he leave without saying anything? What if… Maybe he doesn't want to hang around with me anymore?_

He shook those thoughts away and instead began looking for him. He walked into a path surrounded by trees and nature that wasn't too far from the restroom. Matthew thought that maybe Gilbert just wanted to take a walk, so he went down that path looking for him. Then, if he didn't find him there he would go back to the hotel room and see if he was there. And if that failed too, he would go back to Seychelles and Monaco and worry.

And then he decided it would be best to let Seychelles know he went looking for Gilbert, but when he took out his phone he realized he had no service there, so instead he decided to go back and let her know before doing anything. Then he realized he had walked too far off and walked through one or two fork paths. And that's when it hit him – he was lost. With no signal or any way to reach anyone. Matthew sighed, and instead began to walk again, yelling out Gilbert name and hoping maybe he was here and would know his way back.

After half an hour of walking around in a clueless manner, Matthew sighed and sat down on a log. He knew he should have come with Seychelles so that he wouldn't get lost, yet here he was.

He heard a few distinct voices not too far from him, and steps approaching him, and he hoped it was nice people who would show him his way back. But what showed was two gruff, intimidating young adult males. When they laid eyes on Matthew, their expressions suddenly toughened.

"U-Um, do you know a way back to the beach from here?" Matthew stammered, averting his eyes and fiddling his fingers out of nervousness.

"Hey, you're that damn American from before!" One of them stormed, seemingly remembering some sort of a previous occurrence.

"Yeah! The one that took our wallets and trashed our things!" The other raged, furious as he cracked his knuckles. He picked up Matthew by the collar harshly and brought him close to him.

"N-No, t-that wasn't me!" Matthew squeaked, the color draining from his face as he began to sweat and tremble, and he let out a whimper when the other man threw a punch. He closed his eyes, but he still felt that terribly hard impact of the man's fist crashing on his eye.

"P-Please, stop!" Matthew pleaded, but he knew he could defend himself. He knew he could beat those two men in a matter of time if he wanted to; yet he didn't. And that was because he was a peaceful country, he made a vow to himself that violence is rarely ever the answer, and that it was better to be hurt than to hurt others.

"After what you did to us? No way, you damn American. That's bullshit." The other man spit, and everything else was a blur after that; he only felt the pain of taking a beating and the taste of his hot tears after they beaded down his cheeks and into his whimpering mouth. And when they left, he slowly tried to get up. He wiped his tears away completely, and with a bruised, aching body, he slowly limped towards who knows where, hoping he would reach somewhere with people who didn't have a grudge against his brother. With only one eye he was able to keep open, his vision was halved and a bit blurry.

"Matt? Mattie!" He heard Gilbert cry out. He lost his balance with his limping leg and fell into the Prussian's embrace. "Matt, what happened?! Are you okay?"

"P-Perfectly fine," Matthew said, trying to get out of his hold. "I-I'm okay, alright… I can walk on my own…"

"No, you can't!" Gilbert almost growled, startling the Canadian. He picked him up quickly, and carried him inside Michelle's cabin hurriedly, placing him on a bed. Matthew didn't know half the things that was going on, all he knew is that he was delirious and couldn't think straight, and that he saw Gilbert, Monaco, and Seychelles zooming around the room, wrapping things around some of his limbs, placing something on his eye, and putting something in his mouth. And when he finally did feel better after taking a small nap, he awoke to find Gilbert there, flipping through a magazine on a chair next to his bed.

"Oh, Mattie, you're up." Gilbert said, averting his attention from the magazine. "How are you feeling?"

Suddenly Matthew felt a lump in his throat, and he clenched the blanket on him and mumbled, "I can never do anything right."

"What? What're you talking about, Matt?" He asked.

"I… I can't do anything right!" Matthew yelled, bursting into tears unintentionally as Prussia's expression softened and he immediately brought Matthew into a hug.

"No, Mattie, this incident has nothing to do with you. It wasn't your fault. It was my fault, okay? Don't go blaming yourself." Gilbert tried to comfort him, though comforting wasn't his cup of tea. He wasn't lying, though, he thought that this incident was the result of his foolishness.

"No, stop!" Matthew yelled, pushing him away. "W-When I screwed up at the world meeting, lost Gilbird a-and got hypothermia, a-and now I-I got lost, a-and beaten... You've had to clean up all of my messes a-and I just… Why can I n-never do anything right?"

Gilbert took hold of his shoulders and made him look at him straight in his eyes, "Mattie, stop talking like that. Everyone screws up at world meetings. It wasn't anyone's fault for that Gilbird incident; it was an honest mistake, right? I don't clean up your messes, Matt. I help you. There's a difference. And you've helped me so many times." He hugged him once more, and when he calmed down he pulled away.

"So, you hungry? It's eleven in the morning, and you haven't eaten anything since the airplane ride." He said, sighing.

Matthew tried to get up, but Gilbert quickly went over there and helped him, "Hey, I know you're a country and you heal fast but you still have to take it easy."

It was true; healing when it came to countries was based on how well their government, economy, and society was going, and Matthew's country was going very well. So it would take two to four hours, give or take, to heal all those bruises that would normally take ten or eleven hours to heal.

Matthew felt a faint aching on his leg and stomach, and when he looked in the mirror he saw an eyepatch covering his left eye. He giggled a bit and said, "Hey, look, Gilbert, I'm the one-eyed ghoul!" He made a growling sound and held out his hand as in an attacking way, though in doing this his glasses fell off.

Gilbert chuckled, and took his hand after catching his glasses, "Alright, you comedian, you should get another hour of rest before we go anywhere again." He said, placing the glasses back on Matthew's eyes.

Matthew sighed and nodded, sitting back down on the bed after using the bathroom.

"So, Mattie, what happened?" Gilbert asked, trying not to let the anger towards whoever did this to him get the better of him.

"U-Um, two guys… They were angry at me." Matthew answered, though he was trying not to let Gilbert know that it was because of his brother that this happened, because he knew that there was some sort of tension between Gilbert and the Alfred and he didn't want to make it worse.

"Alright… _Why_?" Gilbert asked, narrowing his eyes as he knew Matthew was trying to hide something because of the way he averted his eyes and fidgeted.

Matthew didn't answer and only continued to fidget, so Gilbert repeated his question with a more serious tone. "Matt, so help me, I will tickle it out of you if I have to."

"Alright, alright!" Matthew said, giving in also because he knew Gilbert wouldn't let it go. "They… They thought I was someone else."

"Okay. Who?" Gilbert questioned. He was hoping that Matthew wouldn't say Alfred name, because if he did he knew he would just lose it whenever he was around the American again.

"A… Alfred…" Matthew muttered, barely loud enough for Gilbert to hear. He began to shift his eight from side to side, and Gilbert noticeably became furious. "Uh, no, Gil, it's not his fault! I just… look too much like him… And…"

"No, Matt, it _is_ his fault. He should know not to get himself into trouble if you might have to pay for it. That damn American." Gilbert growled, balling his hand into a fist.

Matthew took hold of his fist and said softly, "He never means for these things to happen. It's not really his fault."

Gilbert shoved his hand away from him, letting his anger get the better of him as he yelled, "He never means for these things to happen, but they do, Matt! Why don't you just stand up to him?! Why didn't you stand up to those guys who beat you up?!"

"I know, it's my fault…" Matthew muttered, looking down at his feet only to feel the lump in his throat again.

Gilbert sighed, and tried to let his anger fade away for the moment, "Mattie, you know that's not true. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been so foolish… But when I saw you and Seychelles, I don't know, I just…"

"You didn't want to hang out with me anymore, right?" Matthew asked, almost in a whisper from how much he didn't want it to be true. He knew now that he didn't like Michelle like that, but when it came to Gilbert… He did like him, didn't he? But he saw now that Gilbert didn't feel the same way.

"That's… not true. I like hanging out with you, I do. And I… I like you, Mattie." Gilbert said softly, placing his hand on Matthew's cheek as he looked at him. He had known for a while now that he had had romantic feelings towards the Canadian, but he assumed that Matthew only liked him as a friend.

"But your like isn't the same as mine, is it?" Matthew finished, staring into Gilbert's eyes apologetically. Matthew thought he was being a burden to him ever since they met, and though he said he was willing to help him he figured that Gilbert didn't like him in a romantic way.

"I… guess not." Gilbert answered, taking his hand away from him. "But… allow me this." He leaned in and planted a kiss on Matthew's cheek, and turned for the door.

"Seychelles and Monaco are waiting for us at the beach. Come when you're ready." Gilbert stated, though his voice sounded strained and out of life.

When he left, all that was left for Matthew was an empty feeling. He let his hand touch where Gilbert had kissed him. He wanted to feel it again. He figured he had made their relationship awkward now, as Gilbert was probably heterosexual, and he had just told him he liked him romantically. Gilbert had probably kissed his cheek out of pity. Matthew felt a tear run down his cheek, but he wiped it away and went to the bathroom.

He took off all the bandages and such and the eye patch, though his eye was still somewhat bruised. They had really hit him hard. He sighed and headed for the beach, where he found the lounge chairs empty. He saw Michelle and Juliet in the ocean, but Gilbert was nowhere in sight.

 _I can never do anything right…_ Matthew thought to himself, and as he sat by himself on that lounge chair he felt something hot and wet run down his cheeks, and when he took off his glasses to wipe it away he couldn't remember when he had started to weep.

Quickly, he stopped himself, because if anyone saw him he would be done for. He drank his tropical drink and closed his eyes after putting on his sunglasses, just in case his eyes were still red.

* * *

"Hey, Mattie!" Gilbert said, taking off the sunglasses from his face. "Why don't you come join us?"

The sunlight blinded him momentarily; he saw Gilbert smiling weakly down at him, but Matthew knew it wasn't a real smile. He was only acting this way because Michelle and Juliet were around.

"Sorry, I was just tired." Matthew lied, smiling apologetically. He stole a glance at Gilbert, and noticed that there was a faint stain of blood on his hand. He wondered what happened.

"Are you okay? Are you sure you're up for a long walk in that national park?" Michelle asked, a concerned expression on her face.

No, I'm not. Matthew thought to himself, stealing another glance towards Gilbert, who was avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah, of course." Matthew said, smiling. Although they went on the tour in the National Park and went to many little restaurants, and did fun things together for the rest of the day, Matthew felt empty. Gilbert wasn't acting like himself, but neither was he.

When they both returned to the hotel, they didn't converse much, other than asking the other to pass something to them. Matthew did ask Gilbert what was up with the blood on his hand, but Gilbert only responded with "I had to do what I had to." More or less, that meant he had to hurt those who hurt Matthew.

When Matthew went to sleep, Kumajirou snuggled in close, as if he knew something was wrong. Matthew wasn't sure whether Gilbert went to sleep at all, because when he awoke in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, he saw Gilbert reading a book with a little reading light. He didn't know Gilbert even liked reading, but if he was up this late, did that mean he had had another nightmare?

Matthew didn't ask, and instead went back to sleep. The only thought that continued to pass his mind was,

 _It wasn't supposed to turn out this way._

* * *

 **A/N:** I actually got that whole misunderstanding idea from a shoujo anime somewhere. Things actually get worse from here. Just so you know, in this fanfiction Prussia is bisexual and Canada is pansexual. And what did Seychelles mean when she said she has eyes for someone else? Yeah, she's totally gay for Monaco. Oh, and I know Monaco was being a little rude in this chapter but, still, she means well so send her some love.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Things hadn't changed much since the day prior, and to be frank Canada's fun during his stay in Seychelles only lasted for that half an hour before the beating, before Prussia straight out rejected him (or so he thought). He knew Prussia had it worse, though, he just _knew_. It was more of a gut-feeling; and, plus, Prussia's dull, gazing eyes just gave it away. Canada was worried; had Prussia even slept last night? He knew there was something wrong with him, but Prussia wouldn't let him or anyone in.

And Prussia, oh how miserable he was. This was, frankly, the first time he had actually fallen in love with someone of the same sex. He had known he was bisexual long ago, but since he had a preference for females he never found himself love-struck with a guy as he was now. And Canada had just turned him down without hesitation (or so he thought). Prussia thought about this while on the airplane ride back to America.

" _I… I like you, Mattie."_

" _But I guess your like isn't the same as mine, is it?"_

Funny how a simple sentence can cause someone such sadness and dismay. Prussia couldn't help but think of how much of a fool he was; he cursed to himself because he figured he should have at least asked what his sexuality was. _What if he doesn't even like guys? What if I made him uncomfortable? What if… He does like Seychelles after all?_

 _What if he just… doesn't like me? Do I act too full of myself, even though, ironically, I'm not? Well, I can't really blame him, can I? I wouldn't date myself, not the way I am now._

And then Prussia thought of how good he used to have it; from how he was an oblivious child who woke to the thought of battling with his rival, Hungary, to how Albert, the first king of Prussia, had taught him everything he would need in life, like the happy things and all the things that would bring him sorrow and how to deal with certain situations, and especially the fact that if he wanted to keep his country alive and well, Prussia couldn't die, no matter how many people he saw aging and dying before his eyes, no matter how much he saw the world changing over the centuries.

Most of all, he remembered the solemn smile the old man had given him before Death came for him, how he smiled and told him to keep the country alive for him. Prussia also remembered how he acted as an actual big brother figure for Germany, back when they were both children. They still look out at each other now, of course, but they used to be so much closer, things used to be so much simpler.

It saddened him so to see how most of those happy, simpler things were nothing but unreachable memories now. He and Hungary used to rule the world together (or so he wrote in his diary), and yet now she was just someone he used to know, someone who made him furious whenever he laid eyes on her because of how she had let herself become a victim to Austria, how he knew that she loved Austria. And it's no secret that Prussia had had a thing for her as well, and seeing her together with that four-eyed Austrian made his blood boil. But at the same time, he kind of understood her. As he had mentioned earlier, even he wouldn't want to date himself, not the way he was now.

He used to be so much simpler than this; he was happy. He was egoistic and prideful and boisterous and social. He used to be so full of himself, yet look at him now. Look at what he had degraded to.

Prussia obliviously gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, succumbing to his whispering thoughts until a soft, gentle voice brought him out of them, "Gil? You alright?"

"U-Uh, yeah." Prussia answered quickly, and he stuttered a bit because he was surprised at the sudden conversation. They hadn't spoken much at all since the incident. Moreover, was his sadness becoming that evident nowadays? Prussia sighed, and changed the subject before Canada could ask any more questions, "Look, Mattie, I'm sorry about yesterday."

That incident had continued to dwell in his mind well after midnight that previous night, and he had found himself drinking a soft drink and browsing through the internet for fun things to do on Canada's birthday. He knew Canada had noticed him when Canada woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, but he didn't bother trying to act asleep. Now he figured he had probably worried the Canadian.

"Yeah, me too." Canada muttered, looking at Prussia. He had noticed him gazing out into the window, breathing steady, eyes dull, and he knew it had to have some relation to how he used to get drunk all the time. But putting that aside, Canada was also saddened about the "rejection". He could like anyone, despite any gender or gender identity, and he certainly not mind things like race or culture, but Prussia had just caught his eye. He had… started to show him the world. In a way, Canada saw Prussia as his _Aladdin_ , singing " _A Whole New World_ " to and/or with him.

Canada giggled, loving the little fantasy he had made in his head from one of his favorite films.

"W… What is it?" Prussia asked, confused at how such a depressing subject could be humorous.

"Can you show me the world?" Canada blurted out, still caught in his fantasy until he realized what he had just said. His cheeks heat up, and when Prussia asked "What?" he quickly stammered, "N-Nothing! Forget it!"

Prussia awkwardly scratched the back of his head, "But it _is_ your birthday tomorrow, and no matter what we're still pretty good friends, right?"

Canada nodded, but he knew that he wanted to be something more than friends. But, like Prussia had said earlier, Prussia didn't like him that way, right?

"So I was thinking of throwing a, er, small get together for you tomorrow. Awesome me, your brother, and maybe England and some others will be there. That sound good?"

Canada smiled, "Of course."

He was glad that even though Prussia had technically flat out rejected him, he was still willing to be his friend. And the mere thought of someone doing something for him for his birthday made his heart flutter; if anything, it made him like the Prussian even more than he already did.

And from that point on, though it was still a bit awkward of course, they sort of started to talk naturally again. It was painful for them both, because being so close to the one you love yet thinking you can never have them is a terrible feeling. If only they knew it was all a huge misunderstanding.

* * *

"Mattie! Where have you been? I've been calling you since Sunday!" America says exasperatedly through the cellphone.

"Oh, really? Sorry, I was at Seychelles with Prussia," Canada explained. "I just got back right now, and you know my phone doesn't work in Seychelles; it's a different country altogether."

Suddenly, Prussia took the phone from Canada while they were walking into their apartment, "You've got some nerve demanding anything of your brother after what you made him go through because of you, you –"

Canada took his phone back from Prussia and shook his head, smiling softly as if to say "thank you, but that isn't necessary."

"Mattie? What is he talking about?" America asked, sounding genuinely concerned and confused.

"U-Uh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it." Canada stammered, quickly hanging up the phone.

Prussia stared at him a bit angrily, "Why don't you tell him to stop? Why can't you just stand up for yourself?"

"I have _tried_ , Gilbert. I have! I've reprimanded him, yelled at him, everything! But after a while, you stop trying anymore." Canada answered in an angry tone, furrowing his brows.

"Well, then, I'll make him understand." Prussia said, and before Canada could reply he walked into the apartment and started to unpack.

"Gil, you have to understand that he doesn't mean for these things to happen. He shouldn't change himself because of worrying that something would happen to me." Canada continued, following Prussia.

"See, that's the problem! Stop worrying about others and worry about yourself for once, Matt! I don't want to see you get hurt because of some idiot brother who can't pay up for his actions! At least I have the decency to look out for my younger brother and help if I can, not cause serious trouble for him!" Prussia snapped, angry at Canada being this way.

"I hate to break it to you but not everyone can be as straightforward and powerful like you! Stop comparing what you can do to what I can! We're not the same!" Canada retorted, angry as well.

"You say that as if you know what I'm capable of! You don't, Matt! You don't know everything about me, you don't know my limits, you don't know what's wrong with me!" Prussia yelled, growling as he pushed Canada to the wall and glared at him intensely, his arm placed above Canada's head.

It was only then that Prussia noticed the somewhat nervous expression on Canada's face, and Prussia realized what he had done. He stared at the Canadian, gazing into his eyes whilst feeling all anger, shame, sexual tension, adoration, love, and much more. No matter how much he found himself in love with the Canadian, or how much he wanted to capture his lips in his, he told himself that even if Canada could somehow love him back, he didn't deserve someone as precious and pure as Canada. Prussia let his hand fall to Canada's cheek, and in one motion he muttered an apology and was about to leave until Canada took hold of his wrist.

"Gil, why can't you just trust me and tell me? Why don't you trust me?" Canada blurted out, letting his concern for the Prussian take over him.

Prussia only stared painfully at him, and with a saddened expression he said softly, "I don't want to burden you."

Canada took hold of Prussia's collar and looked him square in the eyes, "Don't give me that nonsense! You'd rather worry me to death than tell me what's wrong?"

It pained Prussia to do so, but he took Canada's hand in his and said, "Yes."

And just like that, Canada slapped him. All of that pent up anger and worry was just let out in one slap, he was just so tired of Prussia being stubborn and hiding these things from him. But right after he did so, he immediately regretted it, as Prussia didn't do anything at all.

Prussia had no idea how to react. He knew he deserved it, and he couldn't blame Canada because he knew it seemed like he was just being stubborn. But if he told Canada that there was something terribly wrong with him, that there was no way to save him, he would never look at him the same way again, and he might think that their time together would be pointless.

And so, Prussia laughed. There was nothing else he could do, and he didn't want to upset the Canadian even more with it being his birthday the day after. "Well, anyway, it's getting pretty late and you know you should get some rest before tomorrow. I have big plans for your birthday,"

Although Canada knew he was just changing the subject, he was still grateful that someone cared, "… Right. Just… please don't f –"

Canada was about to tell him not to let him down like America and England and France, not to somehow forget, not to ignore him, not to let go of his hand when he's already got his hopes up, but he decided not to because it would make him sound selfish.

"What is it?" Prussia asked, though Canada shook his head as if to say "nevermind". However, Prussia already knew what he wanted to say. He knew that Canada's whole life, everyone forgot about his birthday, left him alone; and he was determined to not do that, to give Canada the best birthday in one hundred forty seven years he's ever had, together with him."… And, Mattie, what did you mean by "show you the world" earlier today?"

Though Prussia acted hardheaded, he never let himself forget what anyone said, and because of that he's a very cautious and observant person. Ever since that incident with Hungary, he's had trust issues with people he doesn't know, but that's not the case with Canada. With Canada, he would place his life in his hands; that was the extent of his trust. When they first met, there was just a spark. And although he didn't know much about the Canadian, he just knew he meant well.

Canada's cheeks reddened, and quickly he stammered, "F-Forget about it!"

Prussia narrowed his eyes, and in one quick motion he booped Canada's nose and said jokingly, "Awesome me can find out anything I want to, sweet cheeks."

He smirked and, after advising Canada he was going out to talk with Germany (which was a lie), he instead went to a small diner and called America, telling him to meet up with him. America, confused, did so anyway and strolled over to the Prussian's table of two in the diner.

"What is it? What do you want, dude?" America asked a bit rudely, since he never really was on good terms with Prussia except for that one time when he went training with him long, long ago.

"Well, first of all," Prussia took a fry dipped in ketchup and threw it at the unsuspecting American, which landed on his t-shirt and stained ketchup on it.

"Aw, dude!" America groaned, taking the fry and looking at the stain on his white shirt. "What the hell was that for?" He asked, eating the fry and sitting down.

Prussia clenched his fist, but he refrained from physically hurting the American because he knew Canada didn't want that. "Awesome me can do whatever I please," He started, glaring daggers at the American. "And also, for you causing Canada to get beaten half to death."

"What? That never happened!" America claims, mouth full with food. "I'd never let Mattie get hurt like that."

"No, but before you go and do ridiculous stunts like stealing things from people and causing trouble, remember that you and Matthew look too much alike and people take out their anger for you on him." Prussia spit.

"Oh, that…" America muttered, remembering. He knew that a lot of people blamed Canada for things he'd done and taken it out on him, and he couldn't deny that once or twice he had framed Canada by saying it was Canada that did whatever it was actually something he himself had done. But he never meant for things like near-death experiences to happen. "What happened?"

"Ever been to Seychelles?" Prussia hinted, narrowing his eyes.

America nodded thoughtfully, remembering all the times he had gotten lost at Seychelles with the Allies against the Axis Powers. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Those two guys you stole from; they ring a bell?"

America began to cackle with laughter, "Oh, man, you should have seen the look on their faces! They had no idea!"

Prussia slammed his fists on the table, though not loud enough for everyone in the diner to notice, "Who do you think they took their anger out on for that?! Have any idea, you damn American, all the pain you caused him? You know that he's a peaceful nation and that he most of always says no to violence, yet look at you, mindlessly causing trouble for him! I need you to stop,"

Prussia had already taken out his anger of that incident on those two men who beat up Canada during their stay at Seychelles; he couldn't help but think back to how his entire mind was sunk and clouded in complete furiousness. He remembered stomping through the country looking for any two men walking together, and once he found the men who had hurt Canada he beat them to a pulp. He remembered growling like some kind of lion who was standing in front of the animals who had hurt their significant other, how he yelled "if you ever lay a finger on him ever again, I will _end_ you" and left them there on the ground, bleeding, but alive. From that point on, they were terrified of the Prussian, and rumors began to spread through the country that Prussia had almost killed someone, but Prussia didn't really care.

He remembered being in Seychelles's cabin and seeing Canada's beaten, hurt, sleeping face resting on that bed, and how he had gone outside and punched a tree so hard his knuckles began to bleed, how he felt like that whole beating incident was his fault. Never had he been so ashamed and guilty for something. He remembered how he sat next to the bedridden Canada, and just couldn't resist himself when he leaned in and kissed the Canadian's cheek.

Prussia got pulled out of his thoughts by America sipping his drink much too loudly and saying, "I don't mean for those things to happen! And, plus, it's not my fault Mattie and me look so much alike! And it's definitely not my fault that he doesn't have the nerve to stand up for himself! It's his fault!"

Prussia couldn't keep his anger in anymore, so he took hold of America's collar and hissed, "It's that arrogance that gets on my fucking nerves, you damn American!"

"You wanna fight, you stupid Prussian?" America yelled, raising his voice.

"Excuse me, sirs, but we prohibit any form of fighting in this diner. Please take it outside." A lady wearing an apron says, frowning. The name plate on her uniform read "Juliet". Her brown hair was tied into a bun, and her hazel eyes showed seriousness.

"Of course… Sorry for this guy's childishness." Prussia said, smiling at her in a way that made her noticeably blush; Prussia just had that effect on people. He gave her the money for the food and a ten dollar tip, and she waved in a friendly way after giving him her number.

"What was that? Aren't you with Mattie?" America asked, his angriness taking over his senses.

"Matthew and I don't have that kind of relationship." Prussia muttered, though it pained him. His love for Canada hurt him no matter what he did. "And yes, I do want to fight you and watch you plead for mercy."

America growled, and he threw a punch at Prussia. However, Prussia caught his fist and frowned, "I won't, though."

"Why the hell not? You're not scared, are you?" America asked, smirking.

"Canada wouldn't want us to fight, mindless idiot." Prussia said calmly, calming his nerves.

America scowled, and said, "What, did Mattie beat your ass? Are you scared of him now or something?"

"You're scared of him, too. Or did you forget your pathetic defeat against him?" Prussia retorted, and America noticeably shivered. "And, no, that's not why I called you here. I didn't just call you here to reprimand you, you know,"

"Alright, fine, what do you want, dude?" America asked, though he was still angry.

"You know what tomorrow is, don't you?"

"Uh, Wednesday?"

Prussia growled, and had to refrain himself from taking America's collar and punching his face in, "It's your brother's birthday, dumbass, though you probably only remember your own birthday from how full of yourself you are."

"Oh, that's right," America said thoughtfully, remembering just now that Canada's birthday was a few days before his. "And, hey –"

Prussia interrupted him before they could get in another argument, "Anyway, I need you to be at his apartment at noon. Bring England if you can."

"What, for his birthday? Well, alright, dude. But I don't know if I'll be able to, my boss might call me down to make preparations for the fireworks that are going to be fired on Independence Day."

"Well then tell your boss to suck my ass. Matthew's birthday is more important, and you can make preparations for that another day."

America sighed, but he nodded, and although he sounded apathetic he really did want to make it up to his brother. He did feel bad for what had happened to him because of him, and he made a mental note for himself to apologize to the Canadian for once. He also figured he had to go get him a last minute gift. He couldn't deny the fact that he always either forgot the poor Canadian's birthday, or something came up and he couldn't go see him. He knew Canada was always a reserved, somewhat isolated individual, and that he only made relations with him, but though he did have somewhat of a complicated relationship with Prussia he was glad he was helping his brother and keeping him company.

"Oh, and… Alfred?" Prussia asked, startling America since he had used his name instead of "America" or "Damn American". "Do you know what Matthew could have meant by "show him the world"?"

America suddenly grinned at the memories that came rushing in his head, "Yeah, dude, how do you not?"

Prussia raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

"Mattie's always been a sucker for cutsie things and _Disney_ movies. I always show him any new movies that come out in my country, but he's always been in love with that movie _Aladdin_ ever since I showed it to him. I remember once for Halloween he legit dressed up as that Jasmine girl, except as a dude. It was hilarious." America explained, snickering. "But it's obvious why he likes that movie so much. I'm literally like the only person he actually talks to, so it's easy to understand he wants someone else to talk with him and take him places like that _Aladdin_ guy, and it's always been a dream to him to meet someone like that."

Prussia listened intently, taking in all of this information.

"Didn't you say you went to Seychelles with him? You've already started to show him the world, and ever since you talked to him you did too; it's some cheesy shit, I know, but who's cheesier than Mattie?"

Prussia blinked, and he remembered Canada talking about how he wanted to go to all sorts of places with him. And the thing was, Prussia had never seen that _Aladdin_ movie even once.

"And you know what would definitely make him fall for you?" America asked, snickering as he saw how Prussia's cheeks heat up. "Sing that cheesy ass song from _Aladdin_ to him. I could help you get everything set up, you know. And you could dress up with him on Halloween. Take him everywhere with you."

"W… Whatever. Awesome me already knew that." Prussia stuttered, crossing his arms and looking away.

"Sure you did." America says, chuckling. "I'm a better brother than you thought me to be, and you know it, dude."

Prussia grins, and says, "Yeah, I guess so. But just try not to get him into too much trouble from now on, got it, you damn American?"

"Yeah, whatever, stupid Prussian." America replied, grinning.

* * *

Canada sat reading a novel he had just picked up from the bookstore, with a cold soft drink on the nightstand next to him. However, he couldn't concentrate very well because of what was to come the next day. Although he was indeed still worried and angry at Prussia for being so stubborn, he decided to put that aside for this one day of the year. He kept on replaying in his mind how Prussia had said he had big plans, and that there was going to be a small get-together for him. No one had ever thrown a party for him, ever, and he just couldn't really contain his excitement and anticipation.

He also hoped Prussia had forgotten about that whole "Can you show me the world?" thing he had said earlier, since he thought his admiration for _Aladdin_ was pretty childish and embarrassing; he didn't want Prussia to know he was into such things. He figured he would just laugh at him and call him girly.

But in all honesty, he _did_ want Prussia to remember. He wanted him to be his _Aladdin_ , he wanted him to dress up with him on Halloween, he wanted to sing the song with him, he wanted to go everywhere with him: to Canada to play hockey and go skiing, to Prussia to do whatever it was he wanted to show him, to Italy, to Germany, to Japan, to Monaco, everywhere. He wanted Prussia to show him the world on a magical red carpet.

Okay, fine, not a magical red carpet. Probably an airplane or something, or a car.

And just as he had these kind of desires, he also had other ones. He wanted to beat Prussia in hockey, in video games, in staring contests. He wanted to snuggle up with him on a Friday night and watch movies together.

Just as soon as those thoughts started, they progressed into more deeper ones, and he began to think of how he wanted to kiss the Prussian, hold his hand, hug him, and he wanted to do more with him. He wanted him to be the first person he would kiss, the first person he'd be able to call his lover, and, if he was comfortable with it, he wanted him to be the first person he would have intercourse with, he wanted to be able to kiss him goodnight and snuggle while they slept.

And when Canada realized all he had just thought, he found himself blushing like crazy. He held Kumajiro close to him, and he almost heard a whisper in the back of his head saying _"Prussia doesn't like you that way, he never will"_ , but he decided that just this once, he would pretend that wasn't true, and he would let himself succumb in his fantasies.

He fell asleep like that, those happy thoughts still lingering in his mind.

When Prussia finally came back to the apartment and came into the room, he hid the wrapped gift under the bed. And seeing Canada peacefully asleep, he smiled and leaned down, kissing his forehead.

* * *

 **A/N: PruCan is just so cute! XD *accidentally pukes one of my favorite films and dreams on Canada* Oops! XD** **I just really love the idea of an Aladdin! PruCan AU! It's so cute!** **And now PruAmerica is a huge BROTP for me! ((but if it wasn't for prucan and usuk, i could imagine them having some kind of an angry make out session XD)) ALSO, I am thinking of changing the title for this story! Either "The Story of Us" or "Time's an Enemy". Please tell me which you like better! Thanks for reading and, as always, please review if you enjoyed, want to leave constructive criticism, or have any ideas! Thanks! ^^**

 ****EDIT: Title changed to "Time's Our Enemy"! Thank you, guest, for the suggestion! I really like it. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"… what you don't understand! No, I just _can't_ , sir. I'm sorry." Prussia yells through the phone, brows furrowed, fists clenched. "Yes, I'm aware that I'm only hurting myself by doing this, but what's the point?"

He was about to continue to yell at his boss, but Canada walked into the living room, rubbing his eyes sleepily, awoken by the noise Prussia was making.

"Gil, what's wrong?" Canada mutters sleepily, and Prussia told his boss to hold on a minute and put his phone aside.

"Matt, sorry for waking you up. You can go back to sleep, it's only ten." Prussia says, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips. He hadn't planned to wake the Canadian this way; it was his birthday, for God's sake.

But Canada could make out the nervousness in that laugh, and he certainly knew Prussia was trying to hide something. And when he heard "I'm aware I'm only hurting myself by doing this", he knew he had to change the Prussian's mind, "Gil, whatever you have to do, just do it."

Canada said this no matter how much he wanted to say otherwise, no matter how much he wanted to say " _No, don't leave m_ e" or " _Stay with me_ ", he knew he couldn't make Prussia hurt his health.

Prussia's expression softens, "Matt, I don't have to. I can't leave you on your birthday, I was planning for so long."

Canada frowns, and though his legs felt weak and his lips were trembling, he took the phone from Prussia and says, "Don't worry, Prussia will be there."

"Who's this?" A deep, composed voice asks on the other line.

"Canada." Canada answers, his throat dry.

"Please, you have to help –"

Prussia quickly took the phone back from the Canadian and hung up the call, frowning though worry noticeable on his face.

"Gil, what's this all about? Why do you need help?" Canada asks, concerned.

Prussia didn't answer, so Canada continued to pry, "Prussia, you do know you can come to me for help, right? My country is steady, I can –"

"Don't worry about it, it's nothing The Awesome Me can't handle," Prussia says confidently, and when Canada continued to have that worried look on his face he beamed a smile and ruffled Canada's hair, "Nothing my Canadian Birdie has to worry over."

And right after those words slipped his mouth, he immediately regretted it. His ears turned red out of embarrassment, _Canadian Birdie? How much lamer can I get?_

However, Canada giggles, though his cheeks were stained red, "Alright, well, if I do find out it was a serious meeting I will drag you over there myself, got it, Gil?"

Prussia steps closer to Canada, and says confidently, "Oh, will you now? How do you plan on doing that?"

Canada instinctively steps back, as did Prussia, until Canada's back hit the wall and Prussia leaned in, grinning at the Canadian's red cheeks. He stared at Canada's sensual, full lips, his round nose, rosy cheeks, beady, captivating violet eyes, and from how close he was standing he could feel Canada's nervous, accelerated breath. His mind was filled with anxiousness and the desire to make the Canadian his, but he frowned when he remembered that feeling wasn't mutual, and he was probably just making him uncomfortable.

Canada wondered if Prussia could hear his heart hammering, his fast breathing, if he could tell how much he longed for him. He knew he should just let go of these feelings before he went and made the Prussian uncomfortable, but no matter how much he tried he couldn't shake the feeling off. He noticed the frown on Prussia's face, and wondered if he _was_ making him uncomfortable. He wanted nothing but to hug him, kiss him, _everything_.

And yet they both held each other back, staring at each other with longing; until the smell of burnt food reaches their noses.

Prussia widens his eyes, and when Canada tries to look over Prussia's shoulder to see if there was anything cooking in the kitchen, Prussia leans to the side as if to block his view.

Canada looks up at him questionably, and saw that Prussia's cheeks were dusted pink.

"Gil, what –"

"Nothing! Just, go back and get some more sleep!" Prussia says desperately, pushing Canada back towards their room. "The Awesome Me has this under control!"

Canada stops abruptly, causing Prussia to bump into him and lose his balance for a short moment. By that time, Canada had already wandered into the kitchen and found some pancakes cooking on the stove. He scrunched his nose at the burning smell, and turned the stove off.

Prussia chuckles nervously, "I, uh…"

Truth to be told, he had never cooked anything except maybe some waffles, some breakfast loaf, and some German pancakes, so trying to make Canadian pancakes was a first for him.

"Sorry, I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed but, uh, I've never made Canadian pancakes so, see how that worked out…" Prussia trails off, cheeks red out of embarrassment.

However, Canada smiles, and Prussia was glad he wasn't one to laugh at embarrassing things like this. "Well, how about I help you make them, eh?"

Canada winked at him, _winked_ , and Prussia stopped and stared. _Is he flirting with me?_

Canada was blushing a bit, regretting that he had said that and actually _winked_. No, he was never really bad at flirting, but he just never did so with anyone. And now he thought he had made the Prussian uncomfortable, as he had made him blush a few times today.

"Um, ja, but uh…" Prussia trails off, scratching his head and then regaining his composure again. "The Awesome Me still has this in control, I don't need help!"

Canada scoffs and smirks, "Right. Well, then, I'll be waiting."

He began to walk away until Prussia grabbed his hand. Canada looks back, smiling at Prussia's embarrassed expression, "I guess Awesome me might, uh…"

Canada continues to smile, "Gil, you have to learn that it's okay to ask for help. Even the greatest of people can't do everything on their own."

Prussia nods, though averting his eyes. Prussia knew what he was referring to when he said that, he knew Canada wanted to help him with his country. But with time slipping away from his hands faster and faster, he knew what was coming was inevitable so he would rather spend what time was left enhancing someone else's life instead of wasting it trying to help himself.

But at the same time… He felt he shouldn't even get close to the Canadian, because in the end, he would leave him alone, sad, and empty. He didn't want to hurt him. And yet, he didn't want to leave him, though he didn't deserve him, he wasn't worth the pain he would cause the Canadian when he was gone.

He couldn't remember the last time he had asked for help, and in all honesty he knew he needed help to keep his country from collapsing; he most certainly _didn't_ have it under control. Yet he didn't want to seem weak, or less awesome, nor did he want to burden anyone with his problems. He just couldn't ask for help.

Canada knew it was a big step for him, but he wanted to be able to help him. Not just when it came to cooking, but also when it came to helping him deal with his government and such. Canada knew there was something wrong with him; from the hangovers, to the blood coughing, to his boss's call for help, they were all pointing to a collapsing country. And Canada was scared for the Prussian, but he decided to use the logical and sensitive approach towards gaining his trust and letting him know that he can ask for help.

"Well, uh, Awesome Me doesn't know whether there's still any ingredients left…" Prussia mutters, scratching his cheek.

Canada raises an eyebrow, and when he looked at the trash can he saw a heaping pile of burnt pancakes, empty flour bags, eggless egg containers, and more.

Prussia slid in front of the trash can, and stammers, "Time is only an illusion! I mean, books are! I mean –"

Canada chuckles, "It's fine. I'm sure I have some left,"

He reaches down towards the lower cabinet where he kept some extra ingredients in case America came over and used all of them, and Prussia couldn't help but stare at him when he bent down. He blushed a bit, and suddenly remembered that inappropriate dream he had had featuring he and the Canadian, and his blush turned darker and he turned around and hid his face before Canada could see.

"Alright! See! I have some ingredients for at least one more batch of –" Canada trails off when he saw Prussia turned around, face in his hands. "Gil?"

"What? Oh, uh, I had something in my eye. Sorry," Prussia stammers, cheeks red. _Dammit, why do I have to remember stuff like that in times like these?_

"Right…" Canada says, raising an eyebrow. "Anyway, come here, I'll teach you how to make them."

Prussia walks over to him a bit reluctantly, getting his head out of the gutter. Canada reaches for a medium-sized bowl and put in a cup of flour and a tablespoon of baking powder, using the whisk to combine them and then starting to mix the product with a cup of milk and three egg yolks. Prussia was watching intently, and Canada handed him the whisk.

However, Prussia's hands started to shake out of nervousness of embarrassing himself in front of the Canadian, and when he began to mix he did so too quickly and some of the mixed ingredients went flying and landed partially on Canada, but mostly on the Prussian. He turned red once again, averting his eyes until Canada laughed.

"No, silly, like this," Canada says, snaking his arms around Prussia's waist and helping him use the whisk correctly by adjusting his hand movements with his own hands. Prussia's hands began to sweat, and he hoped Canada didn't notice. He was so over the rail embarrassed that he continued to sweat and shift his weight from side to side. He felt Canada's breathing on his neck, his body so close to his, his arms wrapped around his waist, and Prussia could feel Canada's heart beating quickly against his back.

It was no secret Prussia's heart was hammering in his chest as well, but he thought he was the only one who was nervous and embarrassed, only because he liked Canada. Why was Canada so nervous? Prussia guessed it was only nervousness out of not wanting to do anything wrong in front of a friend. He internally sighed.

Oh, how wrong he was. Canada was so nervous, being so close to the one he loved. He saw how Prussia's hands shook, and wondered why he was so nervous.

Canada assumed he was making Prussia uncomfortable again (which was very much not the case), so he retreated his arms and reached for a large glass cup. He placed three egg whites into the glass, and told Prussia to beat them until stiff peaks formed.

Prussia reluctantly began to beat the egg whites, until it wasn't just for the recipe, but for those thoughts lingering in his head, _Canada does like Seychelles. And Seychelles probably likes him back. He won't even notice I'm gone. What did I do to deserve such a tragic fate, why do I have to leave Canada behind?_ _It's… not… fair!_

"Whoa, there, Gil!" Canada says, grabbing hold of his arm about to beat the egg whites to a pulp and stopping him. He chuckles, "I think that's enough. Kudos for getting into the spirit, though…"

Prussia chuckles nervously, muttering an apology. Canada folds a third off the beat egg whites into the mix, and then quickly folded in the rest until no streaks were left. He poured the batter onto two lightly oiled frying pans, and gave one to Prussia.

Prussia watched Canada intently, trying to follow his every move as to not completely ruin the pancakes.

Canada smiles, "And lastly, they need to be made with love, otherwise they'll never turn out right."

He almost leaned in closer to the Prussian to kiss him, but refrained from doing so when he realized Prussia didn't like him that way. So he awkwardly reached for a napkin on the other side since he had already leaned in.

Prussia's eyes widened, as he had thought Canada was going to kiss him. After the wink, he didn't know what to think anymore. He had turned a bit red when he realized he was only reaching for a napkin, and mentally called himself an idiot.

When they finished with the pancakes, they placed two for each of them on separate plates, and ate together at the dining table.

"So, uh, I had planned on surprising you with pancakes, but, uh, that didn't work out…'' Prussia starts, scratching his head. "But, happy birthday, Matt! You have no idea how much you mean to The Awesome Me."

His cheeks turned red when he realized he had actually said it, as he was never planning on telling him how he felt. But looking at his happy, eating face, the words just slipped out of his mouth. "I mean, no, uh, you're pretty awesome. That's what I meant."

Canada smiles, "Thanks, Gil. No one ever really remembers my birthday anymore and done anything like this for me, so I just really have to thank you." He leaned in and hugged the blushing Prussian. "But I really have to wonder why someone like you is spending time with me, eh?"

Prussia retreats from the hug, frowning, "I already told you! I…"

 _I love you!_

But he didn't let those words escape his mouth. He thought Canada already knew he liked him that way, and that by saying that he would make him uncomfortable.

"… I think you're awesome." Prussia muttered, sighing internally. Yes, he did think he was awesome, but it was much _more_ than that! And it exasperated him that he couldn't just kiss Canada right then and there.

Canada almost thought Prussia was going to tell him he felt the same way, that he liked him too, that they could belong to each other, but then he realized he just couldn't get what he wanted. "… Right."

Prussia took a bite of the pancakes, and widened his eyes, "T… They're not too eggy! They're awesome!" He exclaims, mouth gaping after chewing.

Canada chuckles, "I just don't understand how you could've messed up so many times."

Prussia, embarrassed, stammers, "A-Awesome me did that on purpose! To… To experiment! Yeah, experiment!"

Canada grins, "Right, well, whatever you say. But don't think that whole "experiment" thing will work when I beat your butt in hockey."

"What? Hey! No one beats The Awesome Me in _anything_!" Prussia says, holding up his fork.

"Oh, yeah? That so?" Canada retorts, holding up his fork as well.

"You wanna go, you little Canadian Birdie?" Prussia asked playfully, grinning wildly and completely disregarding the fact that he had called Canada that nickname again.

"Try me!" Canada answers, grinning just as widely.

They both stood up, completely forgetting about the food. Prussia lunges forward, and they clank their forks together as if they were swords. Canada attacks at full-force (not really), smacking Prussia's fork out of his hand. He places his fork at the brink of Prussia's chest, grinning as he lowered Prussia onto the floor with a mere fork. Of course, Prussia was just playing along, but he had underestimated the Canadian so that when he knocked his fork out of his hand it caught him much by surprise.

"You were saying?" Canada says, grinning.

Prussia regains his composure and smirks, "Don't get too cocky, Mattie, that was just a fluke." He took Canada's fork from his hand and threw it aside, grabbing his collar with the full intention of kissing him until he realized what in the world he was doing and just switched their positions.

"I just _let_ you do that." Canada says. Prussia smiles, and offers Canada his hand. He accepts, and he pulls him up easily. "I haven't had any action like that since the time I burned down Alfred's White House in the War of 1812."

Canada continues to chuckle, and Prussia somewhat shivered. That kind of shiver you get around the nation known as Russia, who can suggest killing people with a smile still planted on his face. "Oh? Is the modest, soft-spoken Canadian Birdie boasting for once?" Prussia asks playfully, chuckling when he saw Canada's cheeks heat up.

"No! I wasn't! I was just… Nevermind!" He stammers, crossing his arms and pouting.

Prussia chuckles, thinking, _Cute_.

Suddenly, the door to Canada's apartment bursts open, and in came an obnoxious American, with several other individuals behind him. "Let's get this party started, yo! I brought Mickey D's and everything!"

Canada stares at the door in absolute horror, regretting the day he had decided to give America a spare key to his apartment. He stood frozen as his brother and eight other individuals walked into his apartment, some carrying gifts.

"Surprise!" Prussia says beside him, putting off a confetti thrower. And when Canada looks over at him he's smiling softly at him, which quickly turns into a grin.

And as America starts the music after setting down his huge radio, and France and Italy set down food on the counter, and Spain and Germany start putting up balloons, streamers, and a banner that read "Happy Birthday, Matthew", Canada almost burst into tears. He blinked away his tears and looked from Prussia to the party, and then back to Prussia and without thinking he lunged at Prussia and hugged him, knocking him over.

"Thank you so much, Gil!" Canada says, repeating the phrase over and over into the Prussian's ear. He had almost let the phrase "I love you" slip his mouth, but refrained from doing so, despite how much he wanted to say it.

"Whoa! Matthew and Prussia are getting it on, yo!" America says playfully, and cackles in laughter at how the two both turned a bit red.

"S… Sorry about that, Gil." Canada apologizes for his, what he thought, was an overreaction. He started to get up until Prussia started to get up too and put his arms behind his back as if to tell Canada to get on.

Canada raises an eyebrow, "Gil, no."

Prussia grins, "Gil, _yes_. Or do you want to stand around in your pajamas?"

Canada's eyes widened, and when he looks down to see what he was wearing, thinking _please don't be wearing pajamas, please don't be wearing pajamas_ , he found himself in a long-sleeve maple leaf pajama shirt and pants that reached his knees. He blushed a crimson red when he realized all of the nations in his apartment had, no, _are_ seeing him in his pajamas on a party that's intended for him, and he quickly got on Prussia's back.

Prussia chuckles, saying "Hold on tight!" as he runs down the hallway and into Canada's room, holding Canada's thighs on his back while Canada hung on desperately onto him, arms around his neck.

Canada sighs once they're in his room, and says, "You idiot, you! Why couldn't you tell me to get changed, eh? That was so embarrassing!"

"Then you'd know something was up and it wouldn't be much of a surprise anymore, now would it?" Prussia says, grinning.

"Well, whatever." Canada pouts, turning towards his closet and looking frantically for something to put on, not wanting to keep everyone out there waiting. "I don't think I have anything suited for this occasion either! And it's probably not good manners to retreat to your room during a party, either…"

"Matt, it's fine. Just pick out something casual." Prussia suggests, looking through Canada's drawers. He grinned, holding out boxers with America's flag on it, "Really, Matt?"

"What is – Hey, give that _back_!" Canada yells exasperatedly, trying to snatch the American boxers from Prussia but to no avail, as Prussia was inevitably taller even if Canada jumped. "America gave me those almost a hundred years ago, when he used to remember my birthday!"

"And what? Even though you'd never wear it, you can't bring yourself to throw a present away, no matter how ridiculous it is?" Prussia asks, teasing. "That's so cute, little Canadian Birdie!"

Canada blushes a deep red out of embarrassment once again, finally snatching them out of Prussia's hands and quickly stuffing them in a drawer.

"Hey, don't be like that, at least fold them!" Prussia says, though Canada didn't know whether he was teasing or not as he proceeded to reopen the drawer and fold the boxers. He wasn't.

Canada sighs, once again turning back to his closet to choose what to wear.

"Now _I_ have to get you one of those, except with _my_ flag on it," Prussia continues to tease into Canada's ear, and Canada jumped out of his skin and yelps, "N-No, you don't!"

Prussia chuckles, and Canada sighed once more, picking out a sweater. "Should I wear this, Gil?"

Prussia shook his head, placing the sweater back on the clothes hanger, "You're in your own house, no need to wear a sweater." Prussia says, filing through all of his shirts then pulling out a white button-up shirt with a red bow tie attached, and then chose a somewhat casual gray-white pants with a belt. He tosses it over to the surprised Canadian, grinning at his expression.

"Well, what're you waiting for?" Prussia encourages, grinning.

"The bow tie, too?" Canada asks, blushing a bit.

"Yeah, of course. Specially picked out by The Awesome Me, you should be honored. I wouldn't mind if you worshipped me." Prussia boasts, but this time, he wasn't doing it to just keep in character and make sure no one suspected anything was wrong. He was actually smiling for _real_ , laughing, fighting, boasting, and he realized it was because of the unsuspecting Canadian.

Canada giggles at the statement, "Yeah, right, Gil." He took another glance at the outfit, "But, Gil, I bought these stuff when I was a wee child. At the time, I thought I'd grow up to be popular and cool and with a schedule packed with parties, but look how that dream turned out." He laughs a bit, and then wonders why he had told Prussia that. He had never told anyone of the dream he had when he first became a nation, no one except his brother.

He expected Prussia to laugh, but instead of that he smiled, "Yeah, but look at you. You've become such a peaceful, understanding nation that usually says no to violence. I think we all used to be that way, but most nations have become tainted with war and hard times that most forget how to be peaceful, or how to say no to violence. I'm proof of that." Prussia says in all seriousness. "So, no, you may not have many relations with other nations, but I still think you're a beautiful, awesome nation, and you should, too, ja?"

It wasn't until he finished his speech that Prussia realized he had called Canada beautiful, and it was the truth, but he was still a little embarrassed to put down his walls to say something of such seriousness.

Canada only stares in awe, his heart beating quickly in his chest at hearing Prussia say something like that to him. He was about to thank the Prussian before he got all teary-eyed again, until Prussia put his walls back up and starts to goof off, "And the little Canadian birdie wishes that he could be like the cool kids, because – "

Canada blushes a deep red and punches Prussia's shoulder to stop him from saying that in a sing-song voice, saying, "Quit it, Gil." And, in all honesty, Prussia's singing wasn't very good for the ears either.

Prussia chuckles, and Canada says, "… But, thank you. It means a lot."

Canada smiles softly at the Prussian, who blushes and says, "Yeah, well, awesome me didn't do anything."

After Canada changed outfits, he prepares himself to walk back into his living room that was filled with gathered nations, food, drinks, music, and decorations.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks so much for reading! Heh, I actually got a bit too excited and ended up already writing chapter eleven! It'll be up next week, but oh boy how much fun it was to write! I'm so excited to publish it! :D Oh, and, at least you learned how to make fluffy Canadian pancakes now XD For the one who suggested Prussia and Canada go to Paris for Canada's birthday, sorry, but the ride to Paris is like eight hours and by then most of his birthday would've been gone! Don't worry, they _are_ going to the city of love, soon! *wink* And, also, this chapter marks the halfway point of this story! Well, as always, please leave a review if you enjoyed, have an idea, or want to leave constructive criticism! Please stay tuned! ^^**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Canada walks back into the living room to find several nations gathered around there, and took the time to greet each and every one of them and thank them for coming to the party. Prussia walks over to the couch, where France and Spain were.

The living room was nicely decorated in less than fifteen minutes by the time he went back; streamers were spread at every corner and the birthday banner was placed neatly in the middle. There was a vanilla sponge cake spread with whipped cream and decorated with several strawberries along the border, and a maple leaf was drawn perfectly in the middle with cream. Several tables were placed and decorated with red table covers, with many desserts and food placed on them as well as balloons here and there. One table was full with several presents all for Canada.

Canada almost couldn't contain his excitement and gratitude for it all but blinked away his tears of happiness. He walks over to Seychelles and Monaco and thanks them for coming all this way just for him, knowing that the ride over here was eighteen hours.

"Happy birthday, Matthew! And, oh, don't worry about it! You went all that way for my birthday, too!" Seychelles chirps, smiling as she wraps an arm around Monaco's shoulders. "And I just had to drag her along, ya know?"

She giggles and continues her conversation with Monaco as Canada went over to America and England, thanking his brother for coming and remembering his birthday.

"But, don't you usually make preparations for the fireworks this day every year?" Canada asks, a bit worried that he had caused trouble for his brother.

"Well, yeah, but I just told my boss to suck Prussia's ass. I'm going to be in a butt-load of trouble, dude! But don't worry about it, Mattie! It's worth it! Happy birthday!" America says cheerfully.

Canada raises an eyebrow at the first statement, but disregarded it and thanked America and England once again. He walks over to Germany, Italy, and Japan, and awkwardly thanks them for coming. He didn't really talk to any of them, and he guessed Prussia had invited Germany since they were brothers after all, and Italy and Japan probably just tagged along.

"Ve~ But, eh, who are you?" Italy asks, and though Canada was sure he didn't mean it in an offensive way it still sort of lowered his spirits. Germany nudged him and Japan coughed somewhat awkwardly.

"… I-I'm Canada." Canada says, sighing, though still smiling. He was a bit overwhelmed by Italy's enthusiastic and easygoing nature, yet he admired him in a way.

"I hope I am not intruding by being here. I am Japan. It is nice to meet you." Japan says seriously, bowing shortly. He didn't really want to come in the first place, as he never really spoke with Canada and didn't know much about him except that he was America's brother. However, Italy, like always, had begged him to come. He always did that, and yet Japan always ended up being a third wheel. Japan would've refused the offer, but then America called him and invited him himself. Japan could refuse Italy if he really wanted to, but for some reason he just couldn't say no to the obnoxious American.

"You, too. And don't worry, quite the opposite, actually." Canada says, smiling softly at Japan. He figured he would get along well with the soft-spoken nation.

"Well, uh, I'm glad we're not intruding. It was nice of bruder to do something like this for you, ja? It's not often he does things like this." Germany says.

"Yes, it was. I'm not one to take Gil's actions for granted, and I know that he does mean well. I'm so glad I've come to know him, and even though he does boast a lot I know that's not all there is to him. I really hope I can help him, as he's helped me and looked out for me quite a lot. He's just… so great." Canada rambles, smiling lovingly as he thought of the Prussian. Then he realized that he had just said some of the reasons of why he loved Prussia, why he adored him, admired him. And in front of his brother, too. Canada blushes deeply, and says quickly, "I-I'm sorry! I just…"

Then Germany smiled. He actually _smiled_. Italy quickly took out a camera and took a picture, causing the smile to fade momentarily. "I'm glad my bruder has found someone like you. He really needs someone to look out for him when I'm not around." Germany says. "And… I know you know that there's something wrong with him. I can't save him on my own. Please help him, Canada."

Canada widens his eyes at hearing this, "That's all I want to do! I just… He won't tell me what's wrong, doesn't let me help him." Canada sighs, looking longingly at Prussia who was talking and laughing with France and Spain.

"That's typical of him. Don't think he doesn't trust you. Quite the opposite. Just, don't give up on him, ja? And if you do hurt him, you'll have to answer to me." Germany says, looking at Canada a bit threateningly. "But I've noticed that he doesn't have to force himself to smile or laugh that much anymore, and something tells me it's because of you. I know you'll take good care of him."

Canada smiles, "Have trust in that."

When he started to walk away, he could hear Italy saying, "Did you hear him? Did you hear him? He loves him, ve~?"

Canada blushes a deep red, and walks over to France, Spain, and Prussia.

"Joyeux Anniversaire, little Canadian~!" France says, wrapping an arm around Canada's shoulders and making him sit down beside him. "This is quite the party, ahonhonhon."

"S… Sure is." Canada says, a bit uncomfortable.

"Hola! Amigo! Happy Birthday!" Spain congratulates, also wrapping an arm around the slightly uncomfortable Canadian.

"Hey, hey, since when did you get all touchy with Matt? You guys aren't drunk, right?" Prussia asks, frowning.

"No, nothing like that, amigo. I've only had half a cup!" Spain says, grinning at Prussia's overprotective and possessive nature. Suddenly, the doorbell started to ring repeatedly, and Spain received a text. He looked at it and chuckled, excusing himself to go answer the door. And in came a fuming, furious Italian, instantly dragging the laughing Spaniard outside by the ear.

France chuckles, "There they go again, ahonhonhon."

"You can tell they really like each other, eh?" Canada says, smiling softly.

Canada was about to say something to Prussia, but then realized he had gone off to drink with Germany somewhere. He sighs, and looks forward at the French man before him. He remembered how France and England were always fighting on who America belonged to. They never did fully acknowledge Canada's presence, and he would be lying if he said that didn't make him sad.

"So? Have you and Prussia done the passionate, breath-taking course of action involving your love and bodies, and have you –"

Canada interrupts him, "No! We're not like that!"

His face was flushed in red, and he wondered how France could talk about such things so shamelessly.

"What? You're kidding me!" France says, exasperated. "Listen, I know love when I see it. I'm the country of love, for God's sake." France continues, taking a long swig of his beer. "The way he looks at you when you're smiling, and vice versa, it's so obvious to me! Have you two not confessed yet?"

Canada continues to blush, and he shifted his weight from side to side and started to play with his hair out of embarrassment, "Well, I did, but he said he didn't like me that way." He sighs, the memory making him sad just thinking about it.

France narrows his eyes, "Really now? Tell me exactly how it went down."

Canada hesitated, and was very reluctant to do so. What if he started to spread rumors or something?

"Come on, you can tell Papa France. He's only trying to help, ahonhonhon." France says, chuckling.

Canada sighs, and explains, "I was thanking him for always helping me and that I was sorry for being a burden, and he… He said he liked me, but I think he knew how I felt about him, so he said that as if to say he liked me, but not in the romantic way. So I said the way we like each other isn't the same; he likes me as a friend and I like him as something more. And he agreed. We haven't really talked about it since then. There are times when I wish he would just kiss me, or I him, but I know I'd be making him uncomfortable."

He looks at nothing in particular, sighing longingly. "If only he liked me the same way."

Then France began to cackle with laughter, and Canada got irritated, thinking he shouldn't have told the "country of love". He would just laugh at his unrequited love. "Hey, stop it! It's not funny!"

When he finally stopped laughing, he explained himself, "Little Canadian, how foolish you two are. A simple misunderstanding like that got in the way of your love for how long? It's ridiculous. If only my love were that simple." He stared at a certain British man talking calmly with the beautiful country of Seychelles and sighed. "That misunderstanding is… Just a little gnome whose purpose is to get between you and your love. Don't let it win."

"What are you talking about?" Canada asks, confused at France's weird way of trying to explain something. And he was also starting to feel somewhat bad for the country of love; it was becoming obvious he loved England. And yet Canada's brother was going after England too. He was right. His problem was much more complicated. "It wasn't a misunderstanding."

"He said he liked you, no?" France answers with another question, and Canada nodded. "Did he say exactly, "I only like you as a friend"? Or did you just assume that was what he meant? Have you ever considered that maybe he likes you as more than a friend, that he had confessed right then and there, and he thought you only liked him as a friend when you said your like isn't the same as his? What if you think he rejected you, and he thinks you rejected him, and in reality you both love each other in the same way? Romantically?"

Canada widens his eyes, shocked at this sudden possibility. "No! That can't be! There's no way he –"

"You stupid frog! What have you been doing to Seychelles all this time?!" England says angrily, stomping towards them.

France smiles and winks at Canada, "Here he comes. Just, be sure to clear that misunderstanding up, yes?"

Canada was about to answer until England dragged France away to some corner and started arguing, and France had started to argue just as angrily, though Canada knew he really wasn't angry at all. Just sad.

He was left to his own thoughts, thinking if maybe, just _maybe_ , Prussia _did_ like him the same way. But how could that even be remotely possible? There's just no way, right?

"Hey, Matthew! What'cha doing here all by your lonesome?" Seychelles asks, sitting in front of Canada with Monaco.

"Do you think, maybe, Prussia _does_ like me?" Canada blurts out his thoughts, and when he realized he had asked that out loud he blushes, embarrassed, and tells them to forget it.

"Of course he does! Wait, don't tell me you two aren't together yet?" Seychelles asks, astonished.

Canada shook his head shyly, and Seychelles widens her eyes, "Matthew! You two are _so_ in love! I saw the way you look at each other, even when you were in my country! Oh, if only you saw the look of absolute anger on Gilbert's face when he realized someone had hurt you! If only you saw how he stared at you so apologetically and lovingly while you were asleep! You two need to get together already, I mean, how long has it been?"

Canada stares at her, completely astonished. He lookes at Monaco, and she only nods. Canada bites his lip, and decides not to do anything about the new information he acquired until after the party. "S.. So, uh, Seychelles –"

"Oh, just call me Michelle." Seychelles interrupts, smiling. "And you can call Monaco Juliet, I'm sure she doesn't mind, right?"

Monaco shook her head, "Not at all."

"R… Right, so, Michelle, what got England all riled up?" Canada asks, trying to help France as he had helped him.

"Ah, well, we were just talking but he just somehow brought France up some way or another. And I sort of blurted out how he used to grope me, I was joking, you know? But England took it to the heart and went over to him. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was jealous." Seychelles says, a smug grin on her face. She looks back to see England and France still arguing, and smiles, "They have so much tension between each other, they should really just get together."

"What? But, what about Alfred? Doesn't he like England?" Canada blurts out by mistake, quickly covering his mouth. He knew he wasn't supposed to tell anyone about his brother's crush on the British man, but it sort of just flew out. He guessed he just felt at ease with Seychelles.

"He does?" Seychelles asks, genuinely surprised. She realized Canada didn't mean to tell her that, and shook her head, "Don't get your underwear in a twist, Matthew, I won't tell. And, to be frank, I don't think England likes America that way. It's not because he raised him, no, I mean, look at Romano and Spain. I just think England still looks at him like a child, and no matter how much he tries to like America that way it just won't work. And ever since the beginning, I think France has always secretly had a thing for England." Seychelles rambles. "Sorry, the subject of love just always intrigues me, ya know?"

She laughs nervously, a slight blush on her face. Canada smiles, "It's fine. You do have a point."

Canada was a bit sad, though, because he knew how much his brother liked England and did everything to get his attention. He looks over at America, and sees him talking obnoxiously with Japan, who looked a little uncomfortable at the lack of personal space. Even from a far, Canada could see how red Japan's cheeks were, especially after America wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Canada smiles, and thought that if America ever did get with the Japanese country, he wouldn't mind. They're a wacky duo, but look at him and Prussia.

He looks over at Prussia, and sees him conversing happily with North Italy. He had his arm wrapped around his shoulders, and he was saying something like, "Ita-chan~!" or something. Canada couldn't help but frown. He dismissed it and told himself Italy and Prussia were just friends, but then he couldn't help but think… What if that whole incident _wasn't_ a misunderstanding? What if Prussia likes Veneziano?

After a few more conversations and some alone time after he denied every offer to dance, America announced it was time for cake, and as they all sang Happy Birthday, Canada just sort of stood a bit awkwardly.

"Alright, now, Matt, make a wish and blow out the candles!" Prussia says, a grin almost too wide on his face. Canada narrows his eyes, but shrugged the feeling that Prussia was about to do something to him off and leaned down closer to the cake and the blazing candles.

 _I wish I could help Prussia; save him. I wish he would love me like I love him._

He blew out the candles, but right after he did that, Prussia took hold of the back of his head and pushed him into the cake. Canada, astonished, got back up from the cake and stared at Prussia angrily, who was cackling with laughter. Canada was blushing a bit out of embarrassment, and he took hold of Prussia's collar and, without thinking, wiped the cream off one of his cheeks and smudged it all on Prussia's. It only made Prussia laugh more, and he says, "Aw, little Canadian Birdie, don't get all butthurt. It was a joke." Prussia took a slick of the remaining cream on Canada's lip and ate it, laughing at Canada's completely mortified, embarrassed face.

Prussia took out a camera and took a picture of the both of them, faces completely smudged with cream. He came out laughing in the picture, and Canada was pouting, his face red from embarrassment.

The countries that were gathered applauded, and quickly America took out an identical copy of the cake that was now smudged due to Canada's face. Canada's mouth was gaping, and he says angrily, "You knew this was going to happen, didn't you, Alfred?"

America laughs, "Let's just say that stupid Prussian and I made an agreement on this."

Canada glares at Prussia, but that angry embarrassment quickly turned into laughter, and he just hugged Prussia. And in that moment, he decided he would tell Prussia. Tell him he loved him, and that no matter what he couldn't stop loving him.

After everyone finished their cake, Canada decided to open the presents. America had given him a pair of socks with the American flag on it, Germany had gotten him a batch of sausages, Seychelles had given him a beautiful beach towel with a tropical design, England had given him a novel about the supernatural, and France had given him two tickets to Paris. He had winked at him and chuckled at how his cheeks had gotten red.

Prussia said his goodbyes, as did Canada, and he closed the door after the last of the guests had left. The clock on the kitchen wall chimed midnight. He turns around, and says, "Matt, hold on, I got you a gift as w… Matt?"

Canada stood, trembling, fists clenched. He was biting his lip, shifting his weight from side to side as he had his bangs hide some of his face. He knew he had said he would tell Prussia how he felt again, to clarify things, but still, he couldn't help but be extremely nervous and scared. What if Prussia really does like Italy? Even if he didn't, what if he just doesn't like Canada that way? Those thoughts pondered on Canada's mind, but he reminded himself that he had to pick up that little, threatening gnome and toss it aside, and claim Prussia as his. It was false confidence, but confidence nonetheless.

"Gilbert, you don't like Italy, do you?" Canada asks, his voice low, soft.

Prussia chuckles, "He's pretty cool, but he's going out with West, as far as I know. Why do you ask?"

Canada let out a sigh of relief, and then took steps closer to Prussia, breathing accelerated, cheeks red. His voice was shaky when he spoke, "Remember that day, in Seychelles? You said you liked me. How did you mean that?"

"Well, uh… I…" Prussia trails off, scratching his head. He didn't want to repeat to Canada that he loved him when he thought Canada didn't feel the same way.

"Gilbert, I know you only like me as a friend, but I just, I can't stop these feelings from coming, they just keep on coming no matter what I do!" Canada blurts out quickly. "Even after you rejected me, my heart still beats quickly when I'm around you, and when we're close together all I want to do is… Is… Anyway, I know this whole thing probably isn't a misunderstanding, and that I'm the only one out of the two of us who likes the other more than a friend, but I just…"

Prussia stares at Canada, astonished. _Did he just say… He liked me as more than a friend? And when did he get the idea that I only liked him as a friend? Could it be that, he does like me romantically?_

"Mattie, what're you saying?" Prussia asks, those words being the only ones that come out of his mouth out of the millions of thoughts passing through his mind.

"I… I'm saying _I love you_ , Gilbert!" Canada yells, face red, heart hammering in his chest, hands sweaty. "… As more than a friend! As… As a lover!"

Prussia continues to stare, and he says, "Mattie… I… I feel the same way." He felt stupid for that being the only thing he could say, but out of the shock, out of the fear that he would make Canada leave, that was all he could do. And then Canada's eyes tears up, and he began to laugh, "Then why… Was that really all it was? A misunderstanding?"

Prussia smiles, "I guess it was." Then he trails off, and as much as it hurt him to say it, he says, "But we can't be together."

"What?" Canada asks, smile turning into a frown. "Why?" All of the negative whispers in his head started to roar again, telling him that he was an idiot for getting his hopes up. "Why, Gilbert? Is it because I'm not good enough? Am I ugly? Do you not want anyone to see you with me? Is it because of your reputation?" He blurts out, tears of happiness turning into tears of sadness and falling just as quickly. He runs over to Prussia, and after wiping away his tears, he grits his teeth and says, his voice breaking, "… Is it because… I-I can never do anything right?"

Prussia embraces the weeping Canadian, and mutters, "No, of course not, Mattie. I just, I don't deserve you. I don't want to hurt you."

Then Canada stopped sobbing all at once, and he pushes Prussia away from him, "You don't get to decide that on your own, Gilbert! You more than deserve me! I'm the one that doesn't!"

"Matt –"

" _I'm_ the one who decides if you're worth hurting for, dammit!" He yells, tears brimming his eyes. "And you _are_! You're a million times more than that!"

"Matt, I don't deserve you! I'm reckless, arrogant, stupid!" Prussia yells, stepping closer to the angry, yelling Canadian.

Canada also steps closer, until they were so close that their chests were touching and they were breathing the same air. In the fiery of the moment, Canada could still make out every feature on Prussia's face; how his lips were pink and full, how his crimson eyes showed such emotion, how there was the slightest hint of freckles on his cheeks, and his narrow jawline, pale skin, and snow white hair that framed his face nicely. Prussia also stared at the Canadian, taking in every feature. He saw his round nose, long eyelashes, bright violet eyes, and his wavy, soft-looking blonde hair.

Canada yells, "No, you're not! And you know it! You think before you act, you're doubtful of yourself, and you're observant and intelligent! So don't drop that nonsense on me!"

Prussia growls, and he took hold of Canada's collar, "Why can't you understand that I just don't want to hurt you, that I don't want to be the reason for that smile to be gone?!"

"Why can't you understand that I don't _care_! You're worth it, Gil! You'd be hurting me more if you just walk away from this!" Canada answers, just as angry.

"No, I won't!" Prussia yells back, knowing that if the inevitable did happen, if what he was scared of did happen, Canada would be left, empty, broken, alone. And he didn't want that, he thought it was better to leave Canada here and now, no matter how much he loved him, no matter how much it hurt him to leave.

But then Canada grit his teeth and grabbed Prussia's tie. Palms sweaty, heart racing, he pulled Prussia towards him, and before Prussia could understand what was happening Canada kissed him. There was suddenly no space between them, chest against chest, tilted face against tilted face, lips against lips. Canada's eyes were shut closed as his face was beet red, and Prussia could only stare wide-eyed at the feeling of Canada's soft, sensual lips against his. He could smell Canada's perfume, a soft maple aroma, he could feel the warmth of their kiss, could feel Canada's heart pounding in his chest. It was no secret that Prussia's heart beat accelerated greatly, and there was an apparent dust of pink on his cheeks. And Canada could feel their hearts hammering in their chests, could almost taste Prussia's peppermint breath.

Canada pulled away from the passionate, innocent kiss, and his heart was beating so quickly that it even shook him. His cheeks were so red and hot that he wondered if maybe he would just explode. His eyes were still closed, afraid to see Prussia's reaction. The only things they could hear was their accelerated breathing, and _Walking on Sunshine_ by _Katrina & The Waves_ still playing on America's forgotten radio.

He slowly opened his eyes, feeling like if he could faint if any more of this fear, excitement, and love continued to rush through him. However, all he saw was Prussia's blushing, surprised face, and Canada wondered if he should have kissed him at all. Whether he regretted it or not, he _loved_ it. He loved the warmth he felt, the excitement, the mere love that can be portrayed through a single kiss. His _first_ kiss.

Canada was about to run away from it all, about to run back to his room and shut the door and never come out. But Prussia grabbed his hand, and pulled him into a hug. "You just had to do that, didn't you, little Canadian Birdie?" Prussia asks, chuckling. "Now I don't think I can ever leave you, even if I wanted to."

He kissed the blushing, nervous Canadian's forehead, and whispered,

"I'm yours."

* * *

 **A/N: YES! Finally, they kissed! About time, right? XD This was lots of fun to write, so I hope it wasn't too bad. I know it's a lot longer than usual chapters, so sorry about that! Also, I don't know who to ship Seychelles with in this story. Monaco, Iceland, or Belarus? *whispers* Seychelles with Belarus is a huge OTP for me, but she has a better relationship with Monaco in this story. Please leave a suggestion! (Also, Michelle and Juliet aren't Seychelles and Monaco's official names). I totally ship America and England, but I recently got into America and Japan so sorry XD France and England aren't bad together, and I think it would be best if Canada tried to see them as father figures when he was younger. Anyway, haha, this is probably my favorite chapter of this story (so far). Next chapter may be a bit delayed, as I'm having a bit of writer's block. As always, please leave a review if you enjoyed, have an idea, or want to leave constructive criticism! Thank you, and please stay tuned! ^^**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Alright, awesome me will be going now," Prussia says, placing some plates on the sink and fixing his tie.

"Be careful!" Canada says, going up to him and placing a shy peck on his cheek.

"Y... Yeah, whatever. Bye!" Prussia stammers, face red, exiting the house with his suit case.

Canada sighs once he leaves, sitting down on the couch.

It would be an understatement to say that things had been more than awkward since they kissed. Were they going out? Did Prussia not want anyone to know? Canada wasn't sure, but ever since they kissed Prussia was much more... Awkward.

He sighs once more, and remembers how things were so romantic and perfect right after the kiss. How Prussia said he was his, how he offered his hand and said, "Shall we dance?"

He remembered how Prussia had his hands on Canada's waist, and Canada's arms were wrapped around his neck, and how they danced slowly yet comfortably to the song on America's forgotten radio. Canada remembered placing his head on Prussia's chest, and hearing the fast beat of his heart.

When they had gone to bed, they had held each other close, and fallen asleep listening to each other's heartbeat. And yet, the very next day, things had gotten awkward. They struggled to make conversation, Prussia avoided any form of romantic contact, and he pretended as if none of what had happened the night prior had ever occurred.

Two days later, the day before America's birthday, things were still awkward. And it frustrated Canada, because all he wanted was to embrace Prussia close, kiss him, everything.

Canada furrowed his brows, and also happened to remember Prussia saying something about having a gift for him. He never did give it to him, so Canada couldn't help but be curious. Prussia wouldn't be back for a while; he had a meeting in his country and the ride over there was well over ten hours. Canada guessed that urgent meeting Prussia had on Canada's birthday was rescheduled to today. The thought made him glad, that he didn't cause too much trouble for the Prussian.

Then Canada decided to do a scout for his gift around the house; he looked under couches, beside counters, inside drawers, and he happened to find a neatly wrapped box hidden under the bed they shared. He felt a little bad about taking the gift without asking, so he just placed the gift on the nightstand and decided to wait until Prussia arrived back.

Canada was tired, however, as he had woken up at nearly two in the morning to see Prussia off. His flight was at three, and Canada wanted to see him off and give him a goodbye kiss, even if that meant having to wake up in the middle of the night. And yet, that goodbye kiss had made things even more awkward. Canada sighs, and falls asleep unintentionally.

* * *

Canada awoke, and the sun was shining in his face a bit irritably; the heat made Canada push his blanket off of him. He groans, and remembers he had forgotten to close the curtains. He reaches for his glasses, then realizes he had fallen asleep with them, and sees them thrown on the floor. He puts them on and decides to take a shower, wash his face, and brush his teeth and make some breakfast.

The clock reads eight a.m., and Canada rubs his eyes tiredly while eating a bowl of cereal. His apartment was pretty quiet and lonely without the Prussian around. It reminded Canada of how he spent his days moping around with no one except Kumajirou. He couldn't put it in words how lonely it all felt.

But now that he knew what it felt like to have company―Prussia, Seychelles, Monaco, France, Spain―He thought it was a lot lonelier now when he was alone too long. He supposed it was because since he knew how great it felt to have people who love you around, when they were gone there was a much emptier feeling in you.

Canada shrugs, thinking he was just overthinking things. He grabs a book and a sketch book with a pencil and heads out to the park with Kumajirou holding on to him, and he decides to walk over there since it wasn't too far. The heat was a little bit too much for him, since it wasn't as hot in his country, but he tried to look past that.

He sat down on one of the park benches and just took a look around the park―Children playing, People reading or walking, butterflies and other insects flying around, bees flying from flower to flower―he did things like this often, and it reminded him that even if his country were to completely disappear, the world would keep moving.

It was a sad thought, and oh, no, Canada wasn't depressed or anything like that. Before―no, even now― he just has a low value of importance towards himself. Since no one used to talk to him, or even remember his name, he figured maybe he just wasn't important.

Now he knew Prussia, and Seychelles, and all these nations that he thought were far more important and amazing than he was. In a way, his value of importance towards himself had gone a bit down when comparing himself to them, but overall they made him feel like he meant something. If he disappeared―they'd notice.

But even if he knew no one at all, he would never do something to hurt himself. Because he knew that it would also hurt his people; his economy. And he just thought that would be selfish of him.

Paradoxically, he also felt like it was better to be hurt than to hurt others. He confused himself, and honestly he didn't like to dwell on thinking about himself too much.

His mind drifted to Prussia―How was he doing? Not only referring to the meeting, but also his health and mental state overall. Prussia had said some pretty self-degrading things in the past, when they didn't know each other that well. And Germany had mentioned something about helping him; and so did Prussia's boss.

Canada was worried about him. Prussia still didn't let him help him. And Canada knew that if something bad―something permanent―happened to Prussia, Canada would mostly blame himself for not helping him.

Maybe Canada was being selfish―maybe his only reason for wanting to save Prussia was so that he wouldn't be alone anymore.

Canada stopped drawing on the sketching book abruptly at the thought― _What if I'm just some selfish bastard who wants attention?  
_  
He shook his head quickly, trying to avoid those invasive thoughts. There was no way he was like that. He loved Prussia, and that was that.

"Oh, hey, I didn't expect to see you here." Someone says, and Canada looks up from his drawing and sees England.

He figures maybe England didn't remember his nation or name, so Canada says, "I'm Canada."

"I know that." England says, scoffing slightly. "Do you take me for a fool?"

Canada blinks twice, and realizes that what he said might be offensive in someone else's eyes. It was just a habit―telling someone who he was. "N... No, I'm sorry."

"It's fine." England replies, taking a seat next to the Canadian. "I guess I was being a bit rude."

There was a long silence. Canada didn't know what to say, really.

"That's a nice drawing." England says, the corners of lips curving into a slight smile as he reaches for the sketchbook that lay on Canada's lap. "May I?"

Canada wonders what he was asking to do, and then realized―Someone had seen his drawing. Someone was asking to see his drawing. What if he saw all the other drawings he drew?

He didn't know how to feel about that. Since he had a lot of free time aside from meetings and such, he drew often. Because of that, his artistic skills had sky rocketed.

Canada realizes he had waited too long to answer, and there was suddenly tension in the air.

"Oh, um, sorry. Yeah, sure." Canada stammers out, a bit embarrassed.

England smiles a bit reassuringly, and says, "I don't have to, if it makes you feel uncomfortable."

"No, no, it's totally fine! Just―Here!" Canada says quickly, more embarrassed than he initially was. He hands England the sketchbook.

England raises an eyebrow, "Is this Prussia?"

He looks at the just recently sketched drawing of Prussia. In the drawing, he was smiling charmingly and winking; and wearing a tank top that showed off his muscles. Canada was a bit embarrassed that he had drawn that without even concentrating much―His mind was elsewhere that afternoon in the park.

"You know, sometimes you have to just put your feelings and emotions into a drawing. Without that, the drawing isn't really a drawing." Canada says, and he doesn't realize he had said it aloud until England replies.

"That's an interesting way of looking at it." England says, smiling at him.

Canada breathes a sigh of relief. He was glad England didn't think what he had said was weird. Or maybe he did―and he just said it was "interesting" to be polite.

"You really do have a thing for that lad, don't you?" England asks, flipping through two or three other sketches of Prussia.

Canada blushes lightly, "Y-Yeah."

England didn't press the matter anymore than he had to, but then Canada realized that beyond those drawings of Prussia were ones that he really didn't want anyone to see.

He reached for the sketchbook and took it back, flipping it closed. He hoped it wasn't obvious he was trying to hide something. "So, um, have you planned anything for Alfred's birthday?"

"Oh, right, that's what I came here for." England says, turning to look at Canada. "I'm thinking of taking him to a water park, perhaps? You said he wanted to go to one?"

"He likes amusement parks in general. To lay his mind off of meetings and stressing matters. So, yeah, I'm sure he'd like that." Canada answers, smiling.

"Right. I think I'll invite you and Prussia, yes?"

"Maybe you should give Japan a call, too." Canada blurts out, eyes widening when he realizes he had told him that.

"What? Why?"

"Well, uh…" Canada trails off, and sighs, deciding to be straightforward about the matter. "Arthur, do you like my brother or not?"

"He's a good lad deep down, why wouldn't I like him?" England says, and when he sees the lingering raised eyebrow of Canada his expression hardens. "Oh, God, no, not in that fashion."

There was a dust of red on his cheeks, however.

Canada sighs, "If you're sure about that, then you should try inviting Japan."

"Why?" England asks, and then he realizes what Canada means. "Ridiculous!"

"Is it really?" Canada asks, chuckling. "But I think we should give the two of them a shot."

England actually grins. Canada is tempted to take a picture, but refrains from doing so.

"And while you're at it, you might as well invite France."

England gasps, a mortified expression on his face, "No way! Why would I invite that _frog_?!"

It was Canada's turn to grin. "I think we should give the two of you a shot."

England blushes up to his ears, and scoffs, "W… Whatever! He hates me! I hate him! That's just how it is, and that's that!"

Canada was about to try to contradict what he said, but England interrupts him, "Anyway, where's that Prussian lad? How come you're here by your lonesome?"

"He's in a meeting right now." Canada mutters, sighing inwardly. He couldn't help but miss Prussia even though it had only been a couple of hours since his departure.

"Oh, I see." England says, smiling apologetically. "Are you two, uh, together?"

A blush blooms on Canada's cheeks and he stammers, "I'm… not entirely sure." He avoids England's gaze, opening his sketch book once again and continuing on his sketch of Prussia.

"What do you mean?"

"Things have just been…" Canada sighs. "Inexplicably awkward."

"Well, then, you must take the initiative, I suppose." England suggests.

"Initiative?" Canada repeats, and he blushes when he realizes what England was suggesting. "Eh?! No way!"

He stands up, completely flustered by the idea and trying to hide his blushing face.

England smiles and places a reassuring hand on Canada's shoulder, "You'll be fine. If Prussia is a wimp, you'll just have to take the initiative, Matthew."

Canada groans, but thanks England nevertheless and excuses himself, having to go somewhere else to clear his mind. But no matter what he did or where he went, his mind continued to drift back to "taking the initiative".

 _What does that even mean?_ Canada thinks to himself. _I mean, I did take the initiative that night after the party, I guess… I was the one who kissed him first; is that taking the initiative?_ _England wants me to kiss Prussia, is that it? But that would make things more awkward! Then does he mean… Being the one to hold his hand first and get close? I can't do that!_

Canada shakes his head furiously, blushing, while the individuals around him stared at him a bit weirdly. He laughs nervously when he realizes this, and to be frank he really didn't know how to react in embarrassing situations like this; so he simply tried to walk away casually, hoping the citizens didn't remember him as that weird guy that looks like America.

It was really just an uneventful day for the Canadian nation; he moped around his house as he wasn't entirely in the mood to go outside after what had happened. It was a lazy Friday afternoon, after all, and Canada was huddled up on the couch with a blanket and Kumajirou with one of his favorite American movies on the television. He yawned tiredly, taking a sip of his soft drink on the nightstand behind him. The clock read ten in the evening, and Prussia still wasn't back.

Canada wasn't exactly worried, as Prussia said he would be back past midnight. He wanted to wait for him, to tell him welcome back and good job for his hard work, but sleep began to overtake him. He yawned, and placed his glasses beside him. He really didn't feel like getting up to go to his bedroom, though he also was hoping to hear when Prussia opened the door so that he could wake up and greet him.

And just like that, with Kumajirou snuggled into his chest while Canada hugged him, he fell asleep.

* * *

" _Prussia!" Canada says, eager to see the nation, waving. However, Prussia walks right past him, right through him, as if he didn't exist._

" _How's it going?" Prussia asks with a cheeky grin as he wraps an arm around a person and brings them close. He kisses them, and as he falls onto a bed with them Canada watches. He watches as his lover is taken away from him, and suddenly the person looks past Prussia; they look at Canada. They laugh, though it makes Canada shiver as the person is suddenly a dark clown with lips red as blood._

 _Canada runs towards them, yelling, screaming for them not to hurt Prussia; he tried to make peace, tried to negotiate in a peaceful manner, however the person hisses and with its long, sharp black claws slashes at Canada, and he falls into the water, gasping for air but finding none, and he finds himself falling deeper into the water and eventually giving up on resisting. Prussia was taken from him, what was the point? He closed his eyes, accepting the water._

 _And yet, he found himself in the middle of town. There was flashing lights everywhere, many decorations here and there, and snow falling. Canada was invisible and floating, yet people passed through him, singing, laughing._

 _He found a mirror, and his reflection scared him out of his skin. He was pale white, ghostly. Streaks of permanent blue were on his cheeks, black lines surrounding his line of a mouth. His eyes were surrounded by black, his hair a mess._

 _There was something very wrong, what was going on?_

 _A snowball passed through him, one a child had thrown, yet Canada envisioned throwing his head. Children were giggling, playing, toys everywhere._

 _He looked inside houses, finding Prussia and them kissing under the mistletoe; Laughing, smiling._

 _Canada was crying, screaming; He rushed inside the house and pushed them off of Prussia out of rage, and Prussia stared in horror at Canada. Canada smiled, finally some noticed him! And yet, Prussia passed through him, helping them up._

 _It wasn't fair!_

 _What was this?_

* * *

Prussia lets out a tired sigh, looking out the window of the taxi he was in. The meeting was a dull two hours long, and it wasn't even particularly useful. It was just his boss repeating everything that was going wrong in his country, which was pretty much everything. It just stressed Prussia greatly, to be blunt; he didn't think there was anything he could do anything to save himself. All he wanted to do was pretend everything was okay for the little time he had left.

And yet, he was being so awkward and stiff around Canada lately. It wasn't because he didn't want to be with Canada or anything like that; rather, he was a bit afraid he would do something wrong to make Canada not want to be with him anymore.

The only other person Prussia had been together with was Hungary, and that was years beyond years ago. They had started dating when they decided there was nothing to lose, but Hungary said she left him because "It isn't you. It's me". She said she wasn't that playful, tomboy little girl from years ago, that she changed and she just didn't want to be with someone as boisterous and prideful as him. He felt as if she had just stabbed him, and to be frank he felt that would've been less painful.

In reality, he knew she didn't want to be with him. He was too loud all the time, boasted way too much, acted as if everyone was inferior to him. He knew Hungary wanted someone like Austria; someone composed and mannered.

Prussia was afraid to make the same mistake again.

Once he realized he had arrived at Canada's house, he paid the taxi driver and headed inside.

He was surprised to find Canada sleeping on the couch. The television was still on, though low at volume. Kumajirou was sleeping elsewhere, it seemed, and the clock read twenty past one AM.

Prussia smiles at Canada's peaceful sleeping face, captivated by his full, sensual lips, soft cheeks, and the flutter of his eyes.

He turns the television off and was about to pick up Canada to put him on their bed until he saw a sketchbook on the coffee table in front of the couch. He knew he shouldn't look through it without permission, but curiosity got the better of him.

Prussia picks up the sketchbook and opens it from the back, and it opens to the most recently drawn picture. It was a drawing of himself, winking charmingly and wearing a tank top. He smiles, appreciative towards the Canadian nation. He flips through more pages, which consists of more pictures of him, characters from books or series Canada liked, Seychelles, and more of Canada's friends.

It made Prussia smile.

But then he saw a particular drawing that was somewhat dark. It was three to four pages long; a small comic of some sort.

It started with Canada wearing military clothing, shaking while carrying a gun against someone with brown hair and a braid, and also someone who resembled China. It showed nations at war; people falling, getting injured, dying.

The number 516 was wedged onto an arrow stabbing Canada on his chest, who was crying, bleeding, and dirty.

And yet, another panel showed him forgotten in the background, with America, England, Turkey, and a few other countries telling each other that the war fought was hard, that they all did their best, that the casualties weren't their fault.

The last panel included Canada leaning over to pick up a flower, and the ghosts of fallen Canadian soldiers holding a gun to his neck; vengeful.

Prussia stares in horror, and as he flips through some of the earlier drawings reflecting his guilt and loneliness, his heart hurt. It made him realize that other people had such feelings as well, and after he places the sketch book back he picks up Canada from the couch and places him on their bed, tucking him in.

He steps away and starts to take off his shoes and undress, until he heard Canada stirring and making weird groaning sounds. Prussia stands closer to the sleeping Canadian, and saw tears tugging at his closed eyes.

 _A nightmare?_

Prussia froze for a moment before gently shaking Canada, trying to wake him up. He shot up from the bed, sweat dripping down his face with tears on his eyes.

"Are you alright?" Prussia asks, concerned.

It takes a while for Canada to realize it was all a dream, that everything was fine and that Prussia was with him. He realizes the effects of his nightmare were very noticeable, and laughs somewhat nervously, "Looks like your nightmares have been transferred to me, eh? That's good." He smiles, though the statement pisses Prussia off.

"What the hell, Matthew?! Don't say things like that!" Prussia says angrily, frowning.

He leaves the room to get a cold towel and glass of water for Canada to cool off, but he didn't realize that leaving without saying that made Canada feel terribly sad.

Canada thought he had said something wrong, and in the blur of waking up after a nightmare with a hammering heart in his chest and sweat dripping from his face, he genuinely thought Prussia had left him like in his dream, and that he would find someone else and be happy.

When Prussia came back to the room, Canada was sobbing, face in his hands, murmuring apologizes over and over. He immediately went over to the crying Canadian, and embraces him, emitting his warmth.

"Was the nightmare that bad?" Prussia asks, voice sympathetic and worried. Canada sobs for a few moments, and after he calmed down they lay down on the bed together, on opposite sides.

"You know… Sometimes I just wish I could transfer any sad feelings someone is having to me. I feel so bad when I'm happy and someone isn't, especially if they deserve to be happy more than me. That night after the bar, I wished I could transfer your nightmares to me, you know?" Canada mumbles, unsure of whether he should be telling Prussia this. "But they've stopped, right? The nightmares?"

Prussia felt a little bad about Canada saying he had "transferred his nightmares to him", because those nightmares he has been having for months even before he had met Canada still reoccurred frequently, though in contrast to when he slept on the same bed with Canada after that night at the bar, he was able to restrain himself from screaming or anything of the such when he woke up.

"Yeah. The Awesome Me doesn't have stuff like that anymore." He lies, leaning into Canada and kissing his forehead. "I think it's because you've chased all the dark, evil things in my head with your love."

"You're such a flirt," Canada says, though he giggles.

"I can't help myself. You're such a cute little birdie." Prussia answers, smiling. "And I'm sorry for being so awkward these past few days. I've just…"

He was debating whether to lie and say something smooth, yet for the Canadian, he decided he would tell the truth. "Even awesome people get doubtful of themselves."

Canada nods, and laces his hand with Prussia's.

After a few moments, Prussia asks cautiously, "So… What happened? In the nightmare." Canada closes his eyes and takes a sip of the water Prussia had brought him before answering.

"I died. No one was sad about it and everyone forgot about me, and someone took you away from me." Canada summarizes, sighing. The nightmare reflected his fear of dying and no one even noticing. It reflected his fear of having Prussia forget about him and find someone else; someone better. "I know, it's silly."

Prussia squeezes Canada's hand, bringing it close to his face and kissing it. "No, it's not, Mattie. Look, you are important, okay? I would push mountains and move oceans for my Canadian birdie."

Canada feels his cheeks get hot, but then a new thought passes his mind, one he accidentally says aloud. "Am I being manipulative?"

Prussia hisses, and answers quickly, "No, you're not, Mattie. Why can't you understand that you're a good-hearted, important nation? I'll say it a thousand times if that's what it takes."

He brings the Canadian into an embrace on the bed, his chin above Canada's head and Canada snuggled into his chest.

"And, Mattie?" Prussia says, though he doesn't wait for a reply to continue. "I know you're a peaceful nation, but know that sometimes war is inevitable. It isn't awesome, no, but it's necessary. And any casualties that come with them, they aren't your fault. I know it isn't fair, but don't go blaming yourself."

Canada is a bit surprised at the sudden mention of one of his insecurities, but feels tears tugging at his eyes at hearing what he said. He clutches at Prussia's chest, smiling somewhat.

"Gil?"

"Yeah?"

"Please don't leave me." Canada chokes out, holding Prussia so tight to him as if if he let go, he would be gone.

"I won't." Prussia answers, using his finger to lift Canada's chin up and capture his lips.

He felt Canada smile through the kiss, and it made Prussia feel so miserable about himself. He felt so disgusted and ashamed that he would lie to the Canadian like that, that he would promise something he shouldn't to such an innocent, pure nation like Canada.

 _I don't deserve him._ Prussia thinks, bringing Canada into a warm hug so that he wouldn't be able to see his face as a tear rolls down.

 _I'll only hurt him._

* * *

 **A/N: So! I was I kind of listening to "What's This?" from The Nightmare Before Christmas while writing Canada's dream, so it was sort of inspired from the song. I sorta rewrote the song but in Canada's perspective during his dream.**

 **Note: The song is originally from the film " _The Nightmare before Christmas_ " and was written by _Danny Elfman_. I don't own it!**

 **My version:**

 _ **What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere! What's this? There's lots of snow in the air! What's this? I'm invisible and floating! I must be dreaming! Wake up, Matt, this isn't fair! What's this? What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong! What's this? I'm ghostly, with a throng! What's this? Every person is passing through me, laughing! Everybody seems so happy! Have I possibly gone daffy? What is this? What's this? There's children throwing snowballs, but what about heads? They're busy building toys, and no one's noticed I am dead! There's frost on every window, oh, I can't believe my eyes! And though I am so sad and dead, everyone is so happy with pride. Oh, look! What's this? They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss! Why, that is so unfair! Why? They're telling romantic stories to each other, roasting chestnuts on a fire. What's this? What's this? In here, I'm crying and screaming, how pathetic! And who would ever notice? Even before? I'm running inside that big, cozy house, at full speed towards him; completely roused. And there's a smile on their faces! So, now correct me if I'm wrong! I have to stop them! I have to stop them! Oh, could it be Prussia will notice me? What's this? Oh, my, what now? I was terribly mistaken! But look, they seem so in love! No hate, now clowns here to scream and kill him, or ensnare him, only cozy little things! Secure inside this little house. What's this? I am gone for good, and the world is safe and sound, and in my place there seems to be good feeling all around. Instead of grief, I swear I can hear music in the air! New blooming love and friends are absolutely everywhere! The sights, the sounds, they're everywhere and all around! I've never felt so empty before; This lonely place inside of me is filling up. I just want to get away! I want to, oh, I want to! Oh, I want to get away! I've got to know, I've got to know! What is this unfair place I have found? What is this?**_

 **So, yeah!**

 **I'm really sorry for the delay, though! I was pretty much stuck on what to write, and then school started and I had less time to do anything. Like, half of my free time is doing homework and the rest I spend watching anime so. But I finally finished this chapter really late today on Saturday! Worth it! I hope you enjoyed it, and sorry for that angsty ending haha. As always, if you enjoyed, want to give constructive criticism, or have an idea then please leave a review! Please stay tuned! ^^**


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